'Pierre de Ronsard' - vicki archer
Last night I spent the evening with my lovely French friend Valérie… She was the girl who introduced and first showed us our property in Saint Rémy de Provence… In a way I can thank her for changing our lives so dramatically… because without her I would not be here, immersed in France and all things French. Valérie and I have become great friends since those early days and even though many years have passed since that ‘fatal’ meeting we always reminisce and marvel at the serendipity that brought us together. Without her help… buying the property… negotiating with the owner… finding lawyers… engaging architects and generally ensuring that our crazy dream could become a reality… I don’t know that I would be sitting here today… Valérie made me believe that it was all possible… that an Australian living on the other side of the world with no French skills or local knowledge could turn a crumbling and abandoned fruit farm into a family home and working olive farm…
We met at her office in Saint Rémy and as I waited for her to finish her last few calls of the day, I could not help but overhear her conversations with clients; they were not discussing anything private, they were more courtesy calls and timings for future rendez-vous. Her lovely Parisian accent was a pleasure to listen to… soft… a little husky and as far away from my Aussie twang as you would imagine… As I was lulled, almost hypnotised by the French language, I promised myself to try harder with my French speaking… to pronounce the words more like Valérie…
Her chat went on for some time… although the essence of it was, ‘where’ and ‘at what time’ I observed that she spent a good long moment on social pleasantries… much more than I would do for the same type of phone call. As she hung up, I laughed and said to her that she must be exhausted from all that polite talk and that if it took ten minutes to make an appointment with each of her clients, it was no wonder that she worked late most nights… Valérie smiled and said to me … that is the difference between you and I… between things French and things English… French is all about the curves… English is a straight line…
For a moment I was confused and then I realised that Valérie had, in one word, described the French way… of looking, of living, of being… of just about everything… The French are never direct… living in France is not straightforward… it is rounded… it is rich… and that which is French almost never traverses a straight line…
I thought her observation a stroke of brilliance… it made perfect sense to me…. Perhaps that is why we love all things French… curves are so much more alluring… xv
Have you read Elaine Sciolino’s thoughts on this?
La Seduction: How the French Play the Game of Life
;)
Beautifully put Vicki, and Valerie
. I’m tucking that one into a corner of my mind, ready to pull out the next time someone asks me what I like about France!
merci et bon weekend
xx
People always remark to me that they cannot even draw a straight line.
I always remind them that curves are much more fun!
Fantastic post and thanks for your note.
pve
Moving from Texas to Georgia was a culture shock. MAJOR.
Polite, always polite. Never direct.
Even their, “bless your heart” is a major statement.
Great description you gave.
Garden & Be Well, XO Tara
I so enjoyed reading this post Vicki. Having family living there too, I’ve noticed these differences when visiting their village and mixing with the locals. The way of life is totally different here in the US and even in England…………where I was definitely raised following that straight line! I love the French way of life and, if younger, would be following my brother and moving there too!!!!
Vicki, at last I’ve become the proud owner of your your second book…………..purchased French Essence while on a visit to the beautiful North Carolina mountains these past few days…………somehow it just seemed the right time. Anxious for some time now to sit with my afternoon tea and turn the pages. I’m off again soon and really busy with much to do, but your beautiful book will be taking any free moments available.
Beautiful Pierre de Ronsard roses. Have a wonderful weekend dear.
Hugs – Mary
Thank you for sharing this beautiful photograph – I have planted a climbing version of Pierre along our suburban front fence and am longing for it to take off. We have had three flowers already and I can tell you how reverent I felt as I stroked those silken petals.
Ooh! Vicki, I love this post. It’s such a fascinating insight into the differences between our cultures. And to think I always considered the English over-the-top when exchanging pleasantries! J x
Hi Vicki, I find it so interesting that the very items that I am working on for personal growth are what is brought to me (almost served to me on a platter) to make sure that I get the message. Being who I am: straight forward, direct and honest (at least this is what I like to think) in my relationships–I have lately been focusing on attempting to soften my edges (I guess that is a bit of The Tao,too). My Chinese friend says that we must always leave the door open….. I am learning to add a bit of love to my words, to pause a bit for “the other” in my interactions. To add “cherie” at the end of a phrase, or “mi amor” as I am a native Spanish speaker. I think that it’s working–at least I feel my edges soften a bit, and I’m pausing a little more without giving it a thought. Thank you for making me sit up and take even more notice. Mary
I was entranced reading this , Vicki. You really know how to grab our attention.
Maybe i will try the rounded way of life here.
Happy weekend.
Teresa
xoxo
I LOVE that- the curves. I shall bring more of the curves to my too-often straight life…
Merci mon amie et bon weekend!
xx
Vicki – What a profound statement from Valerie. It has put into words what many of us have always thought. Thanks for another lovely lesson in life. I am going to try and be more rounded rather than a straight line!
xoxo Gwen
I will be thinking about this post all afternoon.
Valerie’s phrase is just so perfect and I agree with you heartily that it applies to nearly everything. Whew, I feel like it opened a door of understanding for me. Well, I knew it in certain regards but again, I really need to think about this…Mary’s comment about softening the edges is food for thought as well.
As for your photo, it is stunning, right down to the tiny shadow under the thorn in upper right. Beautiful.
Merci et bon weekend…
Je n’ai jamais vu ces belles roses. L’image est également inhabituel. Il nécessite un réel talent de croître ces fleurs impeccablement beutiful. Merveilleux! Je vais planter cette variété de roses dans mon jardin.
Oh,I don’t believe it that is The Rose that my Austrailian girlfriend JANE gave to me so many years ago when she moved back to Austrailian after being here in California!I adore it have moved it twice now as it isnot doing as good as it should!I can never remember the name and there YOU spelled it out for me!Also,Jane had your first book on my nightstand when I went to visit so many years ago!Thats how I became familiar with you!Love these connections!!!!
Xxxx
Wow, I’m just awe-struck. You really know how to describe the French. That is so true! …I’m taken by the brillance of that simple comparison…it’s true – as an American, I like things straight-forward direct and non-political in nature…but living in France has enriched my life, my way of thinking and broadened my scope. It’s such a gift to be able to see it both ways! Thank you for this post!
I love this. One of your many talents, Vicki, is your observation of the minutest detail. There’s so much more you see that the rest of us just don’t. Wishing you as much beauty this weekend as you bring into our daily lives.
Ahhh, if only my daughter-in-law could read this. Beautifully written, Vicki. Curves, the aspirational curves. xx’s
Yes, it makes perfect sense and says it all. Here’s to a curvy weekend and your most beautiful roses. You must give me some rose-frowing tips. I am determined to grow roses which I think means I am an adult now. Yoga and roses this summer………….yes, I am grown up now. Did Paddy have his marathon? Happy weekend. Much love XO
What a beautifully written post!
I agree – curves are so much more interesting than straight lines and reading this has made me sit and think about how I interact with people.
Thanks for sharing.
What a brilliant observation! We English speakers definitely like to cut to the chase and are less prone to enjoy the journey. Have a lovely weekend!
Bonjour Vicki. Such a great post. It starts innocently enough… and becomes a short, but thought provoking essay on cultural differences. Well done. When I first moved to the United States, 16 years ago, I used to instruct cross-cultural training workshops for local companies doing business with France. I remember “warning” them that they would have to get used to the French (and the Mediterranean) concept of time. Time is elastic in France, I’d say. Everything takes more time. You should not dispense with small talk, relationship building, and niceties if you want to get somewhere with French business people… From the sound of it, things have not changed that much
Bon weekend. Veronique (French Girl in Seattle)
So glad that I stopped by today…I love these words. I want to live more in a curve than a straight line. It’s a choice. Thanks for the great reminder. Have a lovely weekend. Mona
Vicki,
Like Teresa, I found myself entranced as well! What a wonderful way of thinking! This is something my son in law is in the process of learning at his company, Chick Fil A. It’s all about relationships and taking the round about way of doing things…learning about the people you are dealing with and making them come first. It’s a hard thing to learn when you are used to wanting to go the straight route to reach your goal! I can’t wait to share this with him!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Carolyn
Gotta love those curves! you are blessed to be you + to have such a grand friend,Valérie. Loved this post! quite a lot of food for thought, HMMMM xxpeggybraswelldesign.com
Vicki, I just love this curvy post – and am swooning over those roses, too. I’ve never heard the French vs. English difference described this way – it is so true. And it explains why I’m drawn to the French way of life. I’m so much more a curvy girl than linear – I’ve been trying to force myself for years into a straight line as I climbed the corporate ladder and am trying to get back in touch with my curves now that I’ve jumped off. Thanks for this lovely description of a beautiful way to look at life – I just sent it to my girlfriend who recently packed up her family – a very tall, very American, husband and three very small children – and moved to Paris. I know she’ll love it! XO
a compelling post indeed
Vicki,
Lovely post and a lesson for all of us as we age with grace and manners. We learn so much when we “listen” to the voices, stories, and ways of interaction and conversations. We all have curves (learning, speaking, excercising, teaching, and being) whether we like to admit it or not.
Most of the time instead of using our best judgement we “rush” to conclusion for fear of spending too much time on something. The best ways of being, in my humble opinion, is to enjoy the lumps, bumps and severe curves in life. It is really much more fun and so very gratifying…cheers!
Bette
Vicki,
What a wondeful post and a very nice reminder of the right way to be. Thank you,
Have a wonderful weekend.
Karen
I love your description of the scene – great writing! I love the photo, too.
While I love the French people as a whole and appreciate their culture, their lack of directness annoyed me enormously when I lived in France.
Vicki!
Now I understand everything. Of course it’s curves and not straight lines. However, I have noticed that curves can sometimes be sharp. . .
xo,
Tish
Well put. It is difficult for most non Europeans to understand the importance of niceties, tradition and the culture involved in all things French.
From brocantes to business, everything is conducted in the same manner.
I love it but have years to observe and embrace it.
I often tell people that France is best seen with open eyes and mind.
I really like this post. Thanks so much~ I really need to practice living “in the curve” of life. Sort of like stopping to smell the (“Pierre de Ronsard”) roses….
Gosh, what a beautiful and neat way to encapsulate it. I seem to bounce between curves and straight lines – maybe I’m part pinball machine. Thank you for sharing Valérie’s wisdom. And your Pierre de Ronsards are gorgeous. Every time you post images of your roses, you make me want to plant some. {I still haven’t, as you can tell!} Bon weekend, dear Vicki.
V,
I love experiencing France in a different way from the way I see it in Paris. As always your photo blows me away.
V
This seems to me a pretty way of saying that French uses a lot of words to say the same thing that English does!
I think that, more than anything, French has a formality and a structure–an attention to social rituals–that American English can sometimes lack. Then again, I get a lot of messages from French teenagers which lack the niceties I’m so accustomed to in French, so maybe it’s a generational thing…?
A beautiful observation so beautifully written. I’m feeling those curves Vicki….in a variety of ways….some good…some ‘cosi, cosi’…….
Love that! Curves anyday over boring get to the point straight lines. And that is such a fitting metaphor. Your story is just soooo wonderful, inspiring to many and beautiful. There really are happy endings for things that might first seem impossible and you have proven that. Loved this piece. Have a wonderful day, Vicki.
What a wonderful story. Your friend Valerie’s comment says it all!
Vicki What a thought provoking post.I think that if we all embraced a few more curves in our lives the world would be a calmer place. What a nice friend you have and you have made a keen observation .Thank you for a lovely post.
Wishing you a serene weekend.Trish
That is so interesting how different we are. It makes me wish I were French, not just my last name! I hope I can experience this first hand someday but until then your blog will have to do:) I love your photo of the beautiful roses!
Jenxoxo
So true and very well said Vicki.
Sam
So beautifully written Vicki, I marvel that you have created your life–it always inspires me and reminds me it’s all possible!
xo Mary Jo
Hello Vicki,
Valerie sounds like a delightful, interested and engaging woman. You make a very good point here about extending the courtesies and niceties before engaging in the business aspect. Doing business in Ireland is similar to France. One must go through “how is your mother, your father and your cousin’s little baby Mary and tell me something ‘did you have the winner of the Grand National today and what glorious sunshine we have, thanks be to God’ and on and on . Following this, the salesman always gets the order.
You have raised a very interesting question, what other countries operate like this?
Helen xx
That’s a lovely description and much like the way we communicate down here in the South. Though with us, I suppose some might call it a form of passive-agressiveness.
Chere Vicki, that is a gorgeous capture of the roses…aah, I can smell their intoxicating fragrance now!
And I love that analogy…curvy indeed…off to check on the book you mention…MERCI!
xoxo,
- Irina
i long for a different way of life…..
and i think the french way sounds like the best way.
xox
Thanks so much for adding this to the POTMC, Vicki! You know how fascinated I was by it. J x
What a gorgeous description of all things French!
What a wonderful way to articulate the difference between the Fr3nch and the Anglos. A number of years ago I worked on a large gloval project and I was required to work with French staff.
If I had been able to see the differences in this lovely way as opposed to the many negative ways that this was viewed by so many, on both sides