14 Jan 2016

How To Be Super Heroes One Step At A Time

michelle pfeiffer as catwoman, super heroes on vickiarcher.com

We are super heroes aren’t we?

Women generally are super, super heroes handling every role with natural expertise and general enthusiasm. We are daughters, sisters, mothers, partners, friends and professionals all rolled into one.

It’s a tough role and we are the ones who play it.

We assume the mantle of the super woman and don’t stop until we have taken on and over the world. There is a price and oftentimes I believe the expectations we place on ourselves are too high and too demanding. Our super woman antics can be exhausting.

What’s wrong with being a little super women but scaling the heights of stardom more slowly? Is it in our nature to act this way? Can we accept and be happy if we aren’t running full speed ahead all the time. Will we accept that small steps can be equally as positive and beneficial as large leaps?

jane fonda as barbarella, super heroes on vickiarcher.comdianna riggs in the avengers, super heroes on vickiarcher.com

Today, women jump in and want it all.

Let’s slow everything down a little; be content with small adjustments and wins. The culture we live in goes from zero to hero in seconds and we burst our bubbles trying to fit into this mould.

Why am I thinking about this?

The more I thought about what moderate means the more I believe women, as a group, place super hero expectations on themselves.

We demand perfection of ourselves and nothing less day after day.

We never want to be 1lb thinner we want to be 10lbs thinner. We don’t want to wait and savour the small successes we want big results immediately and anything less is seen as failure. There is nothing negative about taking small steps or working towards our goals in bite-sized pieces.

Who says super heroes don’t take one step at a time?

As we age many of us beat ourselves up about each and every change. Rather than embrace the benefits, our default position is to revert to the younger self; to try and re-gain and re-instate what we had. Once the cat’s out of the bag there is no going back. Why do so many believe a “younger” self is a better self? I’m not buying that one.

We can be super heroes and have it all or at least enough to be content; we just have to pace ourselves.

images michelle pfeiffer as cat woman, jane fonda as barbarella and diana riggs as emma peel



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In This Post:



Mimi Gregor

It’s a popular cliche that women “can have it all”. No. We can’t. There are still only 24 hours in a day, and we simply can’t have it all/do it all/be it all without driving ourselves crazy. This misconception is undoubtedly behind most of the stress we feel. But. If we prioritize our needs/wants, we can have most of them. Personally, I prefer to enjoy most of what I want in an unstressed manner rather than knock myself out trying to get everything I want, but not being able to enjoy it.

Anita Rivera

That was SO well said, Vicki. The younger self is GONE, or rather, changed. And if each of us (especially women) embrace that changed individual, we can make peace with time. I am actually learning to love my new gray hairs! AND I LOVE THEM and I don’t ever want to color them. It will be the first time in my life I’ll have light hair, and being the only one in my immediate family with such BLACK HAIR (and truly, always wanting to be blond or redhead or chestnut like my cousins!), my newly acquired silver strands are most welcome.

Super heroes? YES. Juggling a teaching job which includes teaching content, mentoring AND putting up with teenage fickleness to some degree as a parent, each breath requires strength and courage to carry out the task. But first and foremost, taking care of myself in order to meet these requirements is key.

Wishing you a wonderful journey down 2016 to embrace the new person within. Anita


Well said Vicki. I don’t believe a younger self is a better one, either. I am fully enjoying the age that I am, old enough to know who I am, what I can and can not do, and smart enough to know the difference.

La Contessa

Well said!
PIANO PIANO as the ITALIANS SAY………………..and for me just ENJOYING what I have because this is IT!This is MY LIFE and it’s not going to get any better. I have ARRIVED so I need to be content with what I have and STOP yearning for that farmhouse over there in ITALY of FRANCE!!I am HAPPY and have created my EUROPE here in my home.I have a GARDEN I have a loving husband of 30 years I have two Healthy SONS and my furry four-legged BOYS……….I AM CONTENT!


Vicki, you have addressed this issue so well, and is important because our daughters and granddaughters are watching. I want them to see a happy and fulfilled role model who has hopefully made a lot of good choices in life, not a woman is frantically trying to do more, have more in a detrimental way.
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Mary-Jill Bellhouse

Gosh … I wouldn’t want to be my ‘younger self’ again. I knew NOTHING then! It was only until I was forced to either give up on life or reinvent my long held beliefs – totally unexpectedly in my late 50’s – that I even STARTED to grow up and take notice of what might be available to me in life! I decided to follow the latter, and much more scary, path and now in my late 60’s a whole new world amazingly seems to be opening up for me – as long as I ‘surrender’ and keep stepping outside my comfort zone and remain open to exploring what is being shown to me. HOWEVER … I do realise that at the same time I have to work hard at not trying to BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE … to keep my sights firmly on what I want and what I can do without thinking I have to be the absolute best at it because of what others might think of me (and we all know that everyone is too busy thinking about themselves to worry about what they think of us – but nevertheless we think that way!). So, yes, I embrace the ‘new’ me (probably who I was all along) and I’ve said goodbye to my younger self and introduced myself to my ‘older’ self – who is mindful of MODERATION – in all things – but now particularly in how I move through life. Thanks for the inspirational post Vicki. It’s so good to talk about these things and get different perspectives.

Linda B

Both the post and everyone’s comments have been food for my soul, as I continue to try to sort out how to approach life without throwing everything I have to give into every situation that arises. I am so much better than I used to be but have a ways to go. Thank you to Vicki and everyone who has added comments for giving all of us such support as we try for better balance!


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