Does no really mean a no?
Does no really mean, yes? This is a question I have been asking myself. I suppose what I am really getting at is whether we women really say what we mean? Do we say exactly what we want to say or do we leave much open for interpretation in the hope that we will be understood.
Is it intentional our often times obtuse language and responses?
I am sure you can imagine scenarios where this happens. We might feign interest and yet deep down we feel completely the opposite. We say it “doesn’t matter”, it is “not important” so often and yet clearly it is. If the signals are not translated correctly, we can become mighty huffy. Yet how can we expect clear and lucid translation?
Do you think it is simply a female trait or do the boys play the same language games?
I noticed myself doing this recently. It was a small and silly incident but after I over reacted I understood that I had been sending mixed messages; not even mixed messages. I had been communicating the opposite of what I really wanted. I suspect we women expect men, in particular, to be mind readers. I am not sure mind reading is one of the male population’s best attributes and it is probably less than wise to test them.
This revelation hasn’t stopped me so far ;)
I can see it could be unattractive to be too forceful or direct, nobody likes a bossy personality or a know-it-all and yet I am sure there is room for better communication skills between the sexes. Why don’t we say what we mean? Even the way we women communicate with each other is sometimes less than straightforward.
In a simple conversation we may say what we don’t mean and we may also say what we think needs to be heard. How complicated is that?
Not saying what we intend to say is complex. Why do some of us feel the need to be obtuse?
Is it because to be “coy” and “fragile” was considered a wonderful quality way back in the day? Or is it because we lack the confidence to say exactly what we mean? I oftentimes think if we articulate in a more precise way, observing the niceties of etiquette and grace, then we may be much happier.
Note to self; don’t expect others to decipher my personal code.
Do you say what you mean? Does your no really mean a no? Let’s chat. xv
Say Yes To Black & White
image, lauren bacall warner studios