6 Jun 2016

Better Not Younger: In The Moment

Better Not Younger, In The Moment on vickiarcher.com featuring Loulou de La Falaise


Better Not Younger is my expression of the moment.
Being in the moment is the perfect example of being “better not younger”.

When I think about the years passing and what it means to each of us I sincerely hope my focus is on improvement, enjoyment and wisdom rather than the re-creation of the past. There is no reason why the future cannot be bigger and brighter than what has gone before; that is how I want to spend the next decades and where I want my focus to be.


I cannot miraculously become younger and yet I can most decidedly be “better“.


The thought of ageing is frightening in many respects but it would be even more daunting if my goals were impossible to achieve. Those who strive to be “younger” rather than “better” are in for disappointment in a big way. From what I see, it doesn’t work.



There is something age has taught me and that is to “be in the moment”.

So many moments in life pass us by through lack of attention, through timing, through stress or overwork and through ignorance. I know I have wasted precious “moments” in the past and it is only now with a deeper level of maturity I can see what a mistake this was.

I cannot catch the lost moments but I can make up for lost time.


Every day can be remarkable and it is for us to grab hold of those moments, live them and memorise them. We cannot foresee how many there will be, our crystal ball is not so clever, but it is not how many we make but the quality of those we live.


Living in the moment is a blessing of maturity.

When we are younger we are certain moments last forever; we toss them away like confetti, so puffed up with the magnificence and certainty of our youth. If I could convince my children of anything it would be to learn to gather the moments and live in them.


Many of the truly wonderful moments in our lives are small but that is why they are easy to escape, to be dismissed and ignored in our quest for greatness. We know to pay attention to the big, our minds, hearts and bodies are conditioned for those; but the small, they can be slippery.


Growing up means I want to grasp every moment, to savour it and to remember. I want to reflect on yesterday today and bring into my mind the small giggles, the smiles and the happiness I felt. Small moments but I am in them. For this way I not only stayed in the present but also I held onto something for my future.


In the moment means exactly that.

I don’t want to be thinking of the other when I am “in the moment”. Is there anything more frustrating than spending time with someone who isn’t in “your” moment? Those people who give of their physical presence and yet their mental state is far away are not “in the moment’. I call that going through the motions and I call that, missing out.


The practicalities of growing older are not always remarkable but knowing how to be “in the moment” is one of the advantages. In this case better means we do know better.



Life is too precious to miss out. xv



images loulou de la falaise and yves saint laurent, pierre boulat

cover, ali mahdavi

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20 Comments

Taste of France

I think what most people dislike about aging is an old mindset. Where discoveries are over. Where habits and the familiar are revered. I think it has less to do with looks, although letting oneself go is a result of an old mindset. We can all stay young at heart, or at least have the wisdom to appreciate the best aspects of youth–the constant discovery–without the insecurity of youth.

Reply
Vicki

Discovery is the spice of any age… and I would hate to think my learning days are over. I believe we should challenge ourselves with something new every day… or at least attempt too!

Reply
Mary Mattina

I’m a 55 year young woman and I look forward to everyday! I lost 82 pounds and I feel so fantastic, even better now that 20 years ago. I have decided to take French language classes so I can be ready to go to France for my very first time in my life! I have dreamed for years of going and I’m finally going to do it. Thank you Vicki for your website.

Reply
Anita Rivera

I feel the same way, Vicki. I am very aware of myself, how I act, how I move (BUT NOT ALWAYS WHAT I SAY! HAHAHHA)…..and just yesterday, I was noticing how I move. I am not moving as wildly as I used to, running about like a little girl. I am moving more gracefully, I am keeping my enthusiastic voice down now to a more balanced level. All of this just happened upon me, and now I’m noticing it.

I am growing up. I am “getting better”, and yes, the calendar says I am stacking up the years. TANT MIEUX! It is marvelous to be human and to experience it all.

Reply
Vicki

Yes.. that old chestnut, “everyday is a bonus” is so true!
I am trying to be graceful but sometimes.. I do wonder! And talk… well I do that a lot.. ;)

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Berniece Omans

A week or so ago, you had a list of books about Paris. I meant to print it out but I’ve lost it. Could you put it on your website again or email it to me. The were 2 or 3 on the list that I have not read.
Thank you so very much.

Reply
Vicki

I will have a look for them Berneice… Are you sure they weren’t the French films?

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Our French Oasis

Seize life and enjoy every moment, no matter how big or small. Laugh at one’s mistakes and smile at the little things, the tiny pleasures. I wish life really were that simple but at least if I follow these simple rules of mine it’s a start!

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Barbara Roshak

In the moment…….. Grandmas are so much better at it then mommies.

Reply
Heather

Thank you so much for this, lovely one. It was just what I needed to hear today…and it is also one of my favorite pieces of yours that you have written. Proof of getting better (and wiser) if ever there was…
xo
h

Reply
Marilyn Murphy

Where in Paris did you buy your Magnolis Oil. I have asked in lots of pharmacies they have never heard of it.
Love your newsletter.
Marilyn Murphy

Reply
Linda

What a gorgeous way to start the week Vicki this is by far the most uplifting and heartfelt message I’ve had the utter pleasure to receive from you over the years…Thank you for helping me to pause for a little while to “smell and appreciate life’s roses” ?

Reply
Mona Turner

Dear Vicki,
How is it, that so often when I enter a stage in my life or a challenge, I am comforted and inspired by your post that day. My beautiful mother passed away at the beginning of the month and I have been reflecting. Now, more than ever I realize the importance of “living in the moment.” There is no time to waste! Thank-you for your heartfelt posts!

Reply
Vicki

I am so sorry to hear this Mona.. and please know my thoughts are with you.
Whatever our age, the loss of a parent is a tough one.. I miss my father every day and even though I am a grown up with children who are grown up… there is still the child who misses a parent.. Such is life and yes… we must embrace every moment as hard as we can.. :)

Reply
Natalie

Hello Vicki,

I enjoyed this post. Have you heard Shirley Horn’s song, “Here’s to Life”? It speaks volumes.

Reply
Merri Cvetan

I so agree. My 90 year old mother-in-law can’t understand why I spend my money on travel! Life is so short and I mean to make the most of every minute. For me, that means time with my family and friends and getting on plane to Europe twice a year. Those are my precious moments.

Reply

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