Better, not younger.
The more I say it, the more I like it.
It is a challenge not to want to look younger, feel younger, act younger and “be” younger. We know in all honesty we can’t but it doesn’t stop us trying. Even the more confident of us must waiver slightly from time to time. Awareness of what is right, the knowledge of good sense and the wisdom to follow through are not always by our side.
Being better and not younger takes hard work and practise every day.
We have to fight all those clichés that taunt us. The world is stuck on this idea that youth is somehow better and we of the older generation regret ageing and aspire to be more youthful.
Rubbish, I object vehemently and vote for age and wisdom.
Yes, I look in the mirror sometimes and get one almighty fright. Who is that woman looking back? Do I know her? How did she become a grown-up? In Nano seconds, the shock recedes and my focus re-equates to reality, I am the woman I am and the way I look does not define me. I care about being a better version of myself and that involves so much more than surface beauty. Don’t misunderstand, I do want to look fabulous, dress well and walk down the street with a pep in my step and catch an eye or two. I don’t for one minute believe that looking younger at my age will make that happen; it is my inner self, my confidence and what I give back that will reap those rewards.
The flip side of ageing is acceptance. Age is a privilege denied to many and I don’t ever wish to take this for granted. Last week our family lost a very dear friend in tragic circumstances. In perfect health, he was suddenly struck by influenza and gone within 48 hours. No notice and no rhyme or reason for his death; life doing what life does. Growing old means freedom and liberty; age is an honour bestowed on the lucky ones.
How can we be better as mature women?
Most importantly we need to ignore the youth obsessed culture we are surrounded with; this doesn’t mean a lack of understanding or appreciation. Granted, the emphasis is changing and more and more older women are being applauded for their intelligence, beauty and accomplishments. Nevertheless it is difficult not to feel invisible at times. I know that feeling of invisibility, it happens to all of us and creeps up and destabilises us when we let our guards down.
We can work on our self-confidence and surround ourselves with like-minded people. Positive energy is the only energy to engage with. Confidence is like physical exercise it requires practise to be expert. It’s not easy to be confident and even those who appear to have the brightest smiles face insecurity from time to time. Insecurity is natural but letting it overwhelm and define us is dangerous.
If we don’t like something about ourselves, let’s change it. Action and re-action help us be better, more content and grow confidence. We should focus on the positive and attack only those areas we know we can make progress in. Unrealistic expectations are the easiest way to fail and thinking we need to be younger to appear better is a trap for young players.
Growing older and ageing gracefully is a game of challenge.
Every day our minds and bodies are challenged with the expected and the un-expected. Better not younger means rising to those challenges, facing them head on and working through them until we like the outcome.
Better not younger; I am still liking this philosophy. xv
Watch Blythe Danner talk about why she doesn’t date, HERE
images blythe danner