9 Mar 2017

International Women’s Day: Every Day


“Every day we wake up there is a chance to re-define and write our story. I never want to lose sight of that.”

Women’s Day is every day.

Have you ever stopped to think how incredible you are?

We so often focus on the beauty, the success and the glamour of women, on the all too obvious and yet those qualities while dream worthy and aspirational are not what I am talking about today. Women have incredible skills and capabilities that come from an intuitive place; they are inbuilt, resistant to just about everything and beyond any value one could attribute.


Women in most cases are protectors.

We protect our families and our friends with an unwritten guarantee to do all in our power to aid and assist them. Their problems are our concerns and their triumphs, our joy. In equal parts we worry and we celebrate. We search to find answers, we work on solutions and as much as humanly possible, we make it happen. We don’t shrug away, deem it all too hard or bury ourselves in knots of stress rendering us useless. We act.


Reaction and action is in our DNA. Most women don’t over analyse when it comes to crunch time; we simply get on with it. That is not the same as a two-hour, never-ending conversation about what to wear or whether, “he” likes me or not. I am talking the big moments here. We might over chew the small stuff but we really man up to the big stuff. Women are instinctive when it comes to solving a problem and moving forwards.


I am in awe of how many women take change and challenge in their stride. It is to be applauded. More than applauded; appreciated and respected. Facing unwelcome change and accepting un-sort after challenges are not the same as the change and challenge we seek for our personal development. Women take disappointment, stare it straight in the eye and knock it dead. This does not mean we don’t feel every soul-destroying particle. We do. Women for some astonishing reason, in the most part can accept, process and move on. Disappointment leaves scars, but does not define whom we are.


Many women are the masters of re-invention in an extraordinary way. They have chosen to walk another path, without ever giving up in order to re-define who they are and how they live their lives. Many must have been afraid, even despairing at times and yet they triumph, finding the strength to move forwards into a newly interpreted and alternate life.


Someone said to me yesterday, “Never look back”. Meaning to appreciate the past but to keep an eye firmly in the future and never be defined or limited by the sadness, mistakes and wrong turnings behind. Every day we wake up there is a chance to re-imagine and write our story. I never want to lose sight of that.



That is where I truly find women to be exceptional; they rise up time and time again to protect, to love and to cherish.



Every day is our day: I will not be forgetting. xv



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13 Comments

Taste of France

When you think about it, it’s utterly ridiculous that someone would be deemed of less worth because of their gender. Or race. How did this ever happen? (Yes, it’s a sociological phenomenon meant to protect the tribe/group and goes way back.) Above all, why does it still go on today?

Reply
Vicki

Change is the answer, or rather the resistance against it I suppose.
I am fortunate to have grown up with every equal opportunity and so I cannot begin to understand or comprehend a life without that… I am so grateful and at the same time, very humbling..

Reply
Anita Rivera

Good morning Vicki!

It sure takes a lot of focus to remember who we are. I have to admit that I am actually starting to become (at the age of almost 59) saddened by the false sense of identity that people take on in this competitive cyber world. If it wasn’t hard enough in real time life to be who you are, now, with all the “competition” of beautiful homes and faces, styles and foods and everyone becoming an Instagram or blogging crush, it makes the rest of us feel bad. And I’m one of those “rest of us.” But now more than ever, and with politics and society going out of whack (in my opinion), each one of us has to find our worth from the inside.

Reply
Vicki

Don’t get me started on the social media game, Anita!

It truly worries me that social media can make us feel bad about ourselves and not happy with what we have or where we are. I believe in motivation and empowering women to be them best selves, to be ‘better not younger’ and to do the very best with what we have … being true to ourselves… in an achievable way.

I’m emotionally invested in this digital world and I see the reality and also the “un” reality of what features and is considered to be the norm. Creating false illusion has a fine line… To inspire is one thing but we never want to be made to feel unworthy or lacking.

Inside is where it’s all at :)

Reply
Lidy@FrenchGardenHouse Antiques

Vicki, I couldn’t agree more. I was struck about how we as women are so strong when I visited the home of a neighbor whose 44 year old daughter died last week of breastcancer. What I found was a wife, mom and grandmother who was grieving, incredibly sad, as to be expected, but I also found a woman who was getting things done, caring for the children of her daughter, and ministering to her family. It’s what women do. She is rising up and protecting, loving and making things happen in her household. It is our nature. To do what needs to be done. ( I’m hoping for her she will have time to care for herself too.)

And Anita, that is the worry of the digital world, that it will make us feel “less than”, I fight with that on a regular basis. When we only see the edited version of life, and homes, it makes us feel inferior if we allow. It takes reminding ourselves that no one and nothing is perfect, and everyone has sadness and less than wonderful things in their life. I strive to inspire, and at the same time get inspiration online, a daily time spent in prayer and remembering what really matters is a must for me to make sure I stay grounded and in a grateful place without anything else sneezing in.

Reply
david terry

Oh, Vicki…..your posting made me immediately recall that well-known line (usually attributed to George Eliot, but inevitably unsubstantiated) “It is never too late become what you might have been”.

I think it’s been re-printed on about a million t-shirts, refrigerator-magnets, and postcards.

Whether or not Eliot actually wrote that sentence is, to me (and I wrote my dissertation on Victorian novels) pretty irrelevant to me at this stage of life. It’s a nice & very productive saying to recall every morning.

As for Women, International Women’s Day, etcetera?…….I think I was at least thirty (and doing very well in the world) before I realized that I had, actually, grown up in a matriarchy. Nothing about that seemed unusual or minimally remarkable to me until I found myself in “feminist” gradskool classes where certain issues (financial control/independence, sexual-reproduction-rights, etcetera) were announced as bold initiatives. I thought it was normal that women pretty much managed and ran things in a sensible, practical, productive way.

At that age, I thought “Uhhh……what’s the big deal?”. I didn’t realize that most of the world (and, certainly, most families) didn’t operate as mine did and had since at least my great-grandmother’s time. Weirdly enough, I ended up teaching in Duke’s Gender and Feminist Studies Program……where I quickly learned that the “normal” I’d grown up with (i.e., Why would anyone notice or care whether the person making decisions was male or female?) wasn’t most folks’ idea of “normal”.

Amusingly enough?….I went to the “Womens’ March” in this tiny, 18th century town the day after Il Trump’s election. It was held just two blocks down the street, at our very lovely, 18th century courthouse (we’re the county seat). I was quickly surrounded by various women (some of whom I knew and most of whom I didn’t) in their quickly-knitted “pussy hats”…..all congratulating me on how wonderful and brave it was of me to have shown my support.

Before leaving the house, my only female (and she’s OLD, at age 17) terrier had refused to go out in the drizzle. Consequently?…I stood there with my two other male&neutered terriers, as various women giddily congratulated and thanked me, and I said “Well…..for all it’s worth, you’ve got my support…..but you do realize that we’re all male?……one divorced homosexual and two eunuchs??????…..”

For better worse, that got into at least one reporter’s account of the public proceedings…….

Obviously, your posting was evocative (for me, at least), and thanks for it…..

sincerely

David Terry (who is still wondering what Karl Lagerfeld will think of American womens’ sudden penchant for “pussy hats”. My good guess is that, since he didn’t think of it on his own or predict the trend, he’ll simply dismiss/ignore it.)

Reply
candice

I don’t stop and think “I am incredible” .. But there have been quite a few times in the past couple of years that I stopped and thought, YOU DID IT !! Way to go , Me !!! lol

Reply
Kathy Kelada

I adore the idea of women re-inventing themselves. Truly, I believe, that we don’t re-invent as much as reconnect with ourselves. We have this deep well of belief in our power that just gets tamped down with life. Given the slightest encouragement though, we tear off the cover and RISE!! It’s the reason I love working with women so much. With a little encouragement, there is no limit to what we can do in our own lives and in the world!! Thanks for bringing this into focus today!

Reply
david terry

Dear Vicki,

Here’s the best song I know for International Women’s’ Day….written and sung by my favorite singer/songwriter, Carrie Newcomer. It’s called “Three Women”. Give yourself a treat and go to it today; it’s quite lovely. go to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONnDK3Gm6iQ

“There’s a light in the kitchen, there’s a glass on the stand
Three women round the table and they’re holding hands
They’re caretaking the birthings, bringing food when they can
They’re easin’ the leavin’ and they’re holding hands

Oh, Life can get tangled and jumbled sometimes
You can lose your way in this world, you can lose your mind
But there’s something still on which I can depend
It’s the strength in women, holding hands

Oh, the night can be dark, so dark and wild
And life burns like a diamond
It’s unbearably hard
But it’s sweeter than honesty, right from the jar.

Your eyes have the look of some different place
You’ve got one foot in heaven and one still in this land
So we breathe it in deep and we let it out slow
We’re holding up up while you’re letting us go

There’s a free falling feeling I’m lighter than air
And home burns like a beacon in your eyes
But somehow we get anchored somehow we get by…

Here’s to the women who bind the wounds tight
Here’s to the ones who sit talking half of the night
Here’s to the loves and the lives that they mend
And here’s to the strength in women holding hands…”

quite sincerely,

david terry

Reply
Tatijana

I have read your blog daily for years, and have never commented. This is an incredible, honest, and truthful post. Thank you for the recognition. As women we really do innately share the ability to forge on in strength, compassion, and love.
Great post.

Reply

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