3 Mar 2015

50 Shades Of Grey, Let’s Debate

50 Shades Of Grey, Vicki Archer, Beauty, Lifestyle


50 “shades of grey”, yes that is how my hair is of now.


No, that’s not me in the photograph above although I wish my hair were long enough to wear in that pretty twist.


Did you think we were going to discuss that film? No, I’m thinking 50 shades of grey hair.




Since we last chatted I have been brave, I have stopped colouring my hair completely. I feel like someone in rehab, “it’s been eleven months since I last had colour.” Avoiding the colourist has been a tough process and one that has required more perserverance than I would have thought. Letting go of traditional ideas, changing habits and forging into the unknown is challenging. I know that hair colour is very insignificant in the grand scheme, but for some hair is a very defining feature.



Why the 50 shades of grey?

Mostly because I found myself admiring those women who had taken the step towards grey and liking how they looked. One month at a time was my mantra, promising myself that colour was only a phone call away. I have survived nearly a year without picking up the phone.


It should also be said that the transition to grey is much easier with fair hair. Going grey does require several steps over time; cold turkey is never pretty.



My hair has always been important to me; it is a security blanket of sorts.


I have worn my hair reasonably long for some years and a regular cut, colour and blowdry are as natural to me as getting up in the morning. It’s how the relationship with my hair has worked. Removing one element of that routine has been hard to maintain. I have been tempted so many times to re-colour, to go back to where I once belonged.


My hairdresser has encouraged me, even my colourist. My friends tell me it looks good and my children say, “own it”. A compliment about my hair, when having doubts, is like nectar. I lap them up. It’s not that I have self doubts or lack confidence in my decision to go grey; my hair and by default me is simply different. It takes time to be re-aquainted.




The highlighted hair is about half way grown out now and so the new shade is becoming familiar.


 

Do I like it? I think so and what I don’t like has probably got little to do with my hair or how it looks. Going grey, while it can look chic and stylish and all those attributes that we so admire, means accepting that we have reached a certain age. That is confronting and I think I would be lying if I didn’t say that this takes time to accept and embrace. Mentally I feel more youthful than ever; I feel engaged and on pace. When I look in the mirror, especially with 50 shades of grey peering back at me, there is a large contradiction. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the greyist of them all…



Going grey, actively deciding to let nature take control has consequences, good consequences.


Grey helps me make more of an effort with what I wear; a bad hair day is a very bad hair day without colour as a support player. Grey hair does not mean fashion is not my friend, grey hair makes me want to look even more on trend and to take an even greater interest in my appearance. Everytime I waiver and feel wobbly about this decicion, I look at pictures of women who I think have killer style.


Grey hair has been a pro active choice, a new point of view rather than a resignation. I hope that I can be brave enough to stay with it.



Going, going, gone… grey… Thoughts? xv



50 Shades Of Grey

going going gone  //  the long and the short of it  //  age v’s long hair  // top hair care essentials


p.s my 50 shades are on instagram if you would like to see 

 

subscribe for updates from vickiarcher.com

In This Post: , ,

FEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATUREDFEATURED

65 Comments

Anita Rivera

Oh, this is a great conversation, Vicki.

OK, now I was letting my hair grow long again (had gorgeous hair in my youth) and for me, getting reacquainted with the younger Anita was an eye-opener. It was no longer me. There were many things about my longer locks that I loved; the shine of my hair was literally like that of what you’d see on a model for a luxurious shampoo! I was proud of my hair. But I just cut it all off about two weeks ago, and I’m glad.

I was getting used to and loving the gray at my temples, but as long strands in this static electricity in our winter air, my hair just didn’t do what I wanted. Funny thing is now that I cut it short, you can’t even see the grays….not that I want to cover them, but my coiffe is much easier to deal with in this harsh weather, it’s a style that shows off my long neck, and the natural black of my hair is more pronounced with a short cut.

But the 50 shades of grey are an interesting concept. I hear ya about looking into the mirror and dealing with so much. I remember the first time I saw my first wrinkles (I do admit, I don’t have many) – my heart raced. I saw it, I witnessed my immortality. Not kidding here! I suddenly got the dose of reality that my body is changing. But the good thing about grey is that for many people, they come in gradually. They come in one reminder at a time, giving US time, to accept the change. I can tell you that over the last 5-10 years, I have slowly been accepting the fact that this young-spirited and youthful soul has a body that is slowly changing. And I believe that those greys are merciful. They seem to say, “It’s OK. You are beautiful, and so am I.”

We have the fun job of being creative with our looks as well as our character. This is the journey. 50 shades of grey are not enough for a lifetime of getting to know who we really are, but they are a start. I just KNOW you will find a creative way to be brave and go with the flow of your gorgeous self. Anita

Reply
Vicki

My next conversation to have with you all is hair length… I am questioning why I want long hair?… Is it a reaction to the grey? Or aging? Both probably and also it could just be taht I like it and it seems like me…

Going grey is never easy but I am pleased I have jumped the hurdle! I never say never though… I might be pink next week… ;)

Reply
Xenia Bult

Hello Vicky
Wanted to write to you a long time ago because I feel we have a lot in common. I am Swiss stylist for interior design and I came across your book in Provence in the US, where we have a holiday home. At that time, we just bought an old property in Provence that we have been renovating for the last 18 months and it is quite adventurous…
Now that I read your comment on going gray I found we have something else in common and I could not agree more with you – I decided to grow grey three years ago and I have struggled a couple of times because with long hair it is quite a journey. When I wash my hair and look stylish, I feel perfectly comfortable with the colour grey, but when you are tired or sick, getting up in the morning, I sometimes wonder whose granny is looking back at me in the mirror! I am nevertheless happy to have taken this decision – the only thing to bear in mind is that you might have to pay more attention to the colours of your wardrobe – there are far more colours to match your hair than fifty shades if grey!
Xenia

Reply
Mimi Gregor

At 59 (in a couple weeks!), I still look much younger than my age. At least part of the reason is that I color my original ash brown hair it’s original color instead of going with the white coming in. At the first hint of those white roots (after about three weeks. Yikes!), I touch them up with dye. It just depresses me to look in the mirror otherwise. Yes, I am undoubtedly in denial. But the rest of me looks younger and feels younger. I decided to adhere to the age I feel rather than my chronological age. It more aptly depicts who I am. And perhaps it even keeps me younger in every essential way (other than the actual number) as that is how I see myself and I act in accordance with that.

Reply
Vicki

There is nothing wrong with denial it’s very healthy if you embrace it Mimi… ;) ;)

One of the other reasons I let the grey in was that I have never tinted my hair as it is fast growing and my attention span is too limited to sit at the hairdressers every two weeks!

Going grey has been such a gradual process and as I mentioned being fair is certainly easily… The shock is less and therefore the inevitable change less…

Reply
Chere

Your post resonates with me Mimi. Thank you.

I too have ash brown hair with much more grey than you. I have colored a lovely red for many years. I went grey about 3 years ago and it was not flattering to my skin tone. I was addressed as ma’am – Mm. for the first time in my life. At the Clarins counter, the skin care specialist called my husband, my son. I returned red…

With that said, I still consider just letting that ‘grey’ flag fly… but at this time, I too, feel and look much younger than my age (~15yrs most likely due to my regimen and Clarins) …as does my husband.

I admire the lovely ladies, like Vicki and my Mum, that look so gorgeous in grey!

Reply
Vicki

AS everyone calls everyon Madam in the UK… I am in the habit of feeling too grown up.. ;) The day they say David is my son is the day I shall reach for the bottle… every kind!!

Reply
Pamela

Me too! I’d be hitting all kinds of bottles if someone mistook my husband for my son!
Bon courage Vicki with your decision. I’m sure you and David will never be mistaken for mother and son!
I’d be interested in learning if increasing grey means you feel it’s more flattering to change your make up colours, eg foundation, powder, lipstick -and also clothing colours you wear?
Have never coloured my hair. So it’s going it’s own way now. When I was young it was my best feature (maybe still) – it started off v blonde and then gradually turned strawberry blonde (father’s family nearly all redheaded or blonde). In summer top layers were sun bleached and there were also streaks of blonde right through. Quite strange hair really, but people used to compliment me on it and hairdressers always wanted to dress it in competitions because it was very thick and long.
As I’ve aged silver threads have begun appearing. So now it’s streaked, though it was naturally already with lights and reddish hairs. The hair growing near my ears is all silver but because it’s in a bob the hair from the top of head covers it. Used to be about same length as Anna W’s (same style), chin length and almost same mix of coloured streaks. But my grand-daughters (10 and 8) talked me into growing it long and now it’s just below shoulder length. They love it like this and play with it, brushing it and doing different styles.
Even though I’m probably much older than you, it’s still not so noticeably grey. The strawberry has faded though – I wouldn’t know what to call it now. As I’ve never spent any money on colouring I sometimes treat myself just to a shampoo, head massage and blow dry as it always looks so much better after it’s had a trip to hairdresser. Sadly it gets frizzies badly in wet or hot humid weather. Not sure how I’d feel if it suddenly all went completely grey though. Maybe it will just go white. Inevitable in the end of course.
But age isn’t about colouring anyway – it’s what’s in your heart and mind. I’m a grandmother and love it but I’m not a granny and don’t dress like one and hope I never will. My little girls (grand daughters) love my clothes, mostly the accessories it has to be said, and are always draping themselves in my scarves, jewellery and putting my bags over their shoulders and then doing the model struts and turns! We have great fun. It’s all about embracing life – not age. Best wishes, Pamela

Reply
The Enchanted Home

I think some of the most elegant women I know/have seen over 50 are those who have gone gray, my own mother included. I am sure it is easier for fair haired women than very dark haired women but I think it all boils down to what one is comfortable with. If you are confident and feel good going gray…then why not!!! I think its fabulous but most important is that one is totally comfortable with it. Think your hair looks very chic Vicki!!

Reply
Vicki

Thank you Tina.. and yes, it’s all about the confidence! Isn’t thatw ith everything, though… :)

Reply
Debbie

Oh, Vicki I know the struggle. I started going grey when I was in my mid 30’s. My hair dresser convinced me that I was entirely too young for that. I had a bad reaction to the color. It burnt my scalp every 5 weeks and my hair started to fall out. I had to decide if I wanted to have a head full of grey or continue coloring and go bald. I decided to accept the grey. I say accept. Embracing my grey was another thing altogether. As women we are so enculturated by society to look a certain way. I will soon be 50 and most days I find my grey stunning and beautiful. I still have days though when I look in the mirror and am still shocked. Regarding length, I decided to go from a shoulder length shag (which I wore for years) to a bob with bangs in 2014. It is such a fun cut and can be dressed up (tucked behind the ears) or dressed down (untucked and letting it fall where it will). Accepting, embracing and loving our inner and outer beauty is a journey. Thank you for giving us a forum where we can both encourage and support each other.

Reply
Anne Eccles

I stopped dying my hair several years ago, and all the issues and emotions you describe are very accurate. Best decision I ever made. Authenticity is hard to come by and I now wear my silver, shoulder-length hair with pride.

Reply
Vicki

Authenticity… what a great description :) I think that might have to become one of the best kept beauty secrets, Anne…

Reply
Karena

Vicki I think of going silver so often that I know it is to happen in the near future!
Having dark hair means a long process though and that is what I am challenged with accepting.
xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena

Reply
Nancy

I went silver four years ago. I had been on the colour wheel since my mid-twenties when the silvery strands started becoming far too obvious (the whole silvering process began when I was eighteen). Because my hair was dark brown that’s the colour I used for close to sixty(!) years. It finally got to be too much. That silver streak returned in the blink off an eye. I thought about growing it out, but that process seemed just too painful, so I buzzed it. I have never looked back. It is long now, well below my shoulders and can I say? I have never, ever received more compliments or felt more glamorous in my life. I know it “reads” a little older, but I am at peace with that. Stick with it Vicki, I think you will grow to just love it. I certainly have!

Reply
jennifer

Great article. I am at the same stage – stopped colouring last May. Am finding it tough! I do
have the dark hair.. back remains dark brown, front is white and silver and the rest is grey hairs over dark.I had highlights put in which has softened the transition so there is no harsh line but I am not sure my shade of grey is one to celebrate. Could well be I am calling the hairdresser sometime soon! I have kept it cut very regularly so it looks groomed but agree, it is all so much more than changing your hair colour, it is accepting you have reached a certain stage in your life. I am 58 and not sure whether to delay the deed. My friends all seem to be highlighted blondes.There is a vague suggestion that I may have “given up” on appearance..which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Keep us posted on your progress.

Reply
Ellen

It has been two and a half years since bleach or color touched my hair. It took several tries before I managed it. You wouldn’t believe the compliments I get! I did wear it short for the growing out period, but now it has reached my shoulders. Since my hair is fine it sometimes looks thinner than I like, and little hairpieces are my best friend. I always wear my hair up, and no one has ever guessed that that little topper is not real because it blends perfectly.

Reply
Patty

I have a white streak in the front of my hair that is natural. When I smoked (5 years now I quit) it used to look blonde. Everyone thought I put it in but I didn’t. Now the white is spreading and I love it. I wish it would spread a little faster and my whole head would be white but I guess I have to be patient and wait. I will be 65 in September and I am proud of that – many have been denied the honor.

Reply
Jenny Barton

Coincidentally I too took the decision to abandon colouring my hair last year. Naturally a basic British mouse colour, I have had blonde highlights for the last thirty years. However, being a honey blonde in my mid-sixties started to feel a little unrealistic, let alone the difficulty in maintaining coloured hair in the hot Provençal sun. Last year it dawned on me that the natural silver highlights were taking over and I liked them. I am fortunate to have good skin and few wrinkles, but now I feel my hair and face work together and if I raise eyebrows, it’s for a good reason! The next decision is – do I try to grow out my fringe?? By the way, have you seen this site, specifically for women with grey hair? whitehothair.co.uk

Reply
Vicki

No I hadn’t… I just had a look… some beautiful hair on that page… :) Thank you..

Reply
Linda Hanselman

I tried going natural. I went to Florida one winter and upon returning I immediately made my appointment with my hair dresser and colored my hair. There were so many women of differing size and nature all with some form of untreated hair. None looked classy or charming or liberated. They just looked like they didn’t care anymore. I’m not saying this is the case for you and your hair, however seeing all those Grey Hairs sent ME running back to the salon.

I may not want to go under the knife to remove a little sagging skin and wrinkles, but I can control my hair color at little expense and pain. I like being blonde and I will never, never, NEVER go gray again!

Reply
Rhonda Bjelan

Such an interesting post Vicki…Good on you for going grey. I’d been toying with the notion for the past three years and decided I would definitely be totally grey by age 65 (I’m 62). Life has a way of throwing you a curve ball. I’ve just completed 5 months of Chemotherapy – 4 1/2 of them minus hair (mastectomy scheduled for next Wednesday). and it’s just now growing back, white. Previously, I was going grey but still had quite a bit of dark hair. I’m quite looking forward to it, knowing it will be very different for me. But what an opportune time and I haven’t had the bother of growing it out.

Reply
Vicki

Rhonda, your hair will look fabulous and after your illness and such a major operation I know that you will want to embrace the white and enjoy it… Thinking of you for next Wednesday and wishing you a very, very speedy recovery. Xv

Reply
Rhonda Bjelan

Thanks so much Vicki. You’re such an encouragement. And I will definitely embrace the White!

Reply
Frith Latimer

Well said Vicki, I salute you, but I am not brave enough and like you my hair is my security blanket. A good salon wherever I go is as necessary as a good hotel. I have seen your pic on Instagram and think you look fabulous.

Reply
Rose Blamey

I have never dyed my hair and have been quite proud of the fact. My hair is fair and still naturally goes lighter in the summer sun. Because my hair is fair it is turning white and not grey. I have been very fortunate. You have taken a great leap and I think more power to you. Being authentic and true to yourself is so important for your confidence. You go girl!

Reply
Yvonne

I have never looked back since havng stopped colouring my hair. I have exchanged all my caramel, cream coloured clothes for bright blues, navy, grey, red hues. My daughter has been the recipient of my gold earrings, so I have treated myself to stylish chunky silver jewellery. I have bought contemporary glasses and always pay attention to my eyebrows which seem to show more now, sometimes I wear red lipstick and jewel coloured scarves next to my face. I have also invested in some great hair products, ie White Hot Hair and Wow hair glaze. Everyone compliments my hair and I just love the freedom it has given me, not having to worry about my roots. I would advise anyone to do it !

Reply
Madelyn Baker

Dear Vickie,
I’m doing it! I stopped coloring my hair about 2 years ago and my color is almost gone. The thought of sitting in that chair putting all those chemicals on me so out weighs the uncomfortable strangeness of my grey. Yes..it is a challenge to come to terms with it, but I feel far more in control of my life. For me it has filtered into everything I do and feel about getting older. xo Mad

Reply
Sally

Hello Vicki
I am an infrequent commenter due to many things to do each day, but felt I must say that you must do what you feel is right for you, and as your kids say ‘own it’ because that is where the confidence comes from which is felt by the other ladies whom you so admire.
I turned 50 in January, and I personally cannot think of letting my several shades of blonde highlights go….or the long hair ( although it is shorter than its was) I have spent a small fortune on my hair over the years but it is the one thing that is non cosmetic that makes such a difference.
I don’t want to feel like the sun is going down, and to me, going natural would mean just that.
I hope you wont mind my thoughts on this….

Just on the subject of ‘that’ movie…I have seen it and although the acting is credible, I cried at the darkness and sadness of the story. It is something I would never wish my daughter to see.

Hmm…. back to happy thoughts and the springtime, and I thought of you last night while watching the iplayer, Italy Unpacked. It was in Puglia, a place that I know you like
I hope the sun is shining where you are
Sally xxx

Reply
Julie

I decided last April not to colour my hair again. We had some lovely summer sun which helped to lighten it so the grey blended in. Over the winter I managed to resist the temptation. Then last week I caved in! I’ve only gone a couple of shades lighter, but I feel like me again and the boost to my confidence is amazing. Maybe next year?

Reply
Vicki

Don’t make me waiver Julie… reading your comment does make me feel tempted.. it’s like that, I vacillate between my decision all the time..

Reply
Miss Diane

Difficile décision, en effet! Je l’ai prise il y a maintenant plus de 5 ans et je me questionne encore parfois. Par contre, il m’est arrivé de me faire complimenter par des personnes qui me sont inconnues et cela vaut de l’or (pour ne pas dire de l’argent..!). Mais c’est vraiment une décision personnelle et je respecte celles qui préfèrent la couleur.

Reply
Vivian Jung

I love your long silver hair! I made the “going gray” decision over 10 years ago, in my early 40s, and haven’t looked back. I actually have nightmares now, waking up upset, thinking I was talked into dying my hair into its formerly brunette color! I had great role models, in my mother-in-law and my aunt, both very elegant ladies who have never dyed their hair, which certainly helped when my sister and my mother didn’t agree with my choice.

Now it’s part of who I am, and I’m thrilled that my hair just gets more silver with each passing year. I tried to keep my hair longer, but it was just too much work to get any volume; now it’s always right around chin length, with a relatively chic cut and natural volume…easy as pie!

Reply
sylvia faye

Vicki I had dark hair and my husband liked it dark but after dying it for a short while I did not like to have all those chemicals so near my brain and said to myself..that is the end and so it was. I was in my early 50’s at the time. I had lots of compliaments and found others chose to also go natural…it is what women do best…may you be a trendsetter for ladies your age.
With a joyous heart,
Sylvia Faye

Reply
Astor Adams

I love to see women with hair just a little longer than shoulder length, all one length and grey. It is so stunning. That is my plan, it might not go wonderful wih my pale skin, we will see.. I’m about 30-40% grey right night, so I still color it red since that fits my personality, skin color and blue eyes. I let it grow out for 6 months and there isn’t enough grey to embrace, I just look unkempt. As for length, I know my hair and how it behaves and I’ve kept it longish after 40 and will continue to keep it about 8″ below my shoulder so I can wear it up on those horrid hair days.

Reply
Candice

I am so lucky .. my hair is turning white, not grey and I am a blonde so I now look like I have a really light highlighting. I love it .. you know how much a highlighting costs ?? lol

Reply
Candice

Astor, my hair was down to the middle of my back and I worried that I looked foolish, from the back, a young woman, from the front … well, maybe my hair was too girlish ?
I have cut if to just below my shoulders. I feel a bit more stylish but I am letting it get longer again :)9

Reply
Mimi Gregor

Candice, since my hair is coming in white in Cruella DaVille-like streaks, and I dye it a medium ash brown, the white part grabs the color differently than the natural brown, giving me those wonderful streaks that women pay tons of money in a salon to get. And all for the price of a seven dollar box of haircolor. Definitely one of the perks of graying hair, as before when I dyed it, it was more uniform in color, and so less natural looking.

Reply
Leslie

Vicki – you look fabulous! I am a teacher and last week a student asked me how I got the silver sparklers in my hair – took me a moment to realize she meant my grey hair which is just starting to come through. That was the most wonderful compliment I could have had. May we all “sparkle” in our own way!

Reply
Anita

Dear Vicki,
I’ve seen the odd photo of you of late (and there should be more!!!) and did notice your hair. Fantastic!!! I’ve always loved your cheveaux and it’s just beautiful grey. Keep going!!! I’ve been grey for some years, flirted with highlights for a bit, but have not let colourist touch it for 2 years. I do like the shampoo that makes it a little silver but apart from that….nothing (you can take a peek of mine, if you have a minute, on facebook, Let’s Have Lunch is my page). It’s funny Vicki, but I’ve encourage a couple of my girlfriends to take the leap of faith and they haven’t looked back. I believe, through your blog, you’ll give some women the courage to abandon the bottle!!! Cheers. Anita xx

Reply
Marta

Dear Mrs. Archer, I too am going gray. I am 38 with a six and a two year old and about 1/4 of the way there … I was reading up about Christy Turlington’s “No Woman No Cry” (foundation that helps with prenatal and delivery care for women) and it struck me how blessed I am to have aged enough to garner some gray hairs. I realized that half of my friends and women-kin would not be with us but for medical advances (mostly c-sections) and I just thanked God that I am given the privilege of growing older. So, I am embracing it … slathering on SPF and protecting and loving the skin I’m in, conditioning and styling the head of hair I have and kinda just being grateful. :)

Reply
Amy

Wow! This is a wonderful conversation. I had shoulder-length highlighted hair until last November, when I went to the States and had it all cut off, thinking I could let my natural silver highlights take over. The cut was fine, but when I saw the color in the honest lighting of a hotel bathroom in December, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. When I got home (France) and asked my friend what she thought, she made me an appointment with her hairdresser and said she would go with me. She was taking no chances! We all need friends like that, right?!? Grey is not for me, not yet.

Reply
mona turner

Vicki,
Your long hair is a part of your elegant look. You can wear it down, or up, always looking so elegant and feminine. I’ve been admiring the long hair styles on “Downton Abbey.” I am keeping mine long!

Reply
Judy Marrone

Brava Vicki! Yes, it’s a huge decision, but eventually it’s very liberating.
I was lucky, and liked the shade/s of grey that I naturally had. I also have short hair (always have), so there is less ‘in your face’ grey. Don’t forget the eyebrows – I agree with something I once read – grey hair is acceptable, not grey eyebrows. But I’m sure you’re all over the style info around the change. Stay with it!

Reply
Madame Là-Bas

It is now a year since I had the last highlights and I am happy to be grey. Your long grey is beautiful. I now see the beauty in the blending of dark and silver and white. Eyebrows still need to be coloured but my haircare budget (money and time) has plummeted. Grey is indeed the new black!

Reply
Angela Muller

Vicki, I haven’t read through the previous comments yet because I couldn’t wait to comment myself. I’ve been battling with the same issue for a year now. I am so tired of coloring my hair. It seems that two weeks in I have grey at the temples again. I’ve been pulling pictures from Pinterest with mature women with grey hair. Do I dare compare myself to them? Some are tall, have great hair, and some appear much younger than you might imagine. Add to this that many women pin my pins. Of course, no one around me thinks I should stop coloring my hair. It will be drastic as my hair is a dark brown with reddish highlights, so I would have to incorporate low lights until I could transition to grey. I exhaust myself just thinking about the decision. I want the freedom to simply be me, but what will that mean in the work world! I admire your courage, as I’m still trying to find mine!

Reply
Sue Schmidt

Enjoy the transition and embrace the change. Ten years ago at age of 50 I stopped colouring my hair – like it long and it is fine so chose length over colour. I also have green eyes and soft colouring – grey hair suits me better as it makes the colour of my eyes pop. My hair is now in great condition. I have enjoyed reading the comments posted here. Nice to know I am not the only one who feels like this. Very liberating. I also agree with the eyebrows comment above and have my brows tinted to frame the eyes. Well done!

Reply
margaret

Fascinating post and reads from contributors. But I have the opposite problem. I have always been a natural blonde and over the last 2 years (I am now 53) my natural hair colour has been DARKENING and is turning a light/mid brown…. and this new tone does not suit, so in are going blonde highlights … cannot find a grey as yet…… makes me think….. do we spend too much time looking in the mirror. Love margaret

Reply
Trish

Hi Vicki, great news from you! I am a bit older than you and a few years ago I did the same thing. I stopped colouring my hair. I’ve always had very dark hair so my hairdresser kind of lightened it a bit at first. I could have wept when I saw it! This was NOT me! Anyway that lighter colour gradually grew out over time and what I have now is completely natural. Mostly I love it but for at least a year I still thought of myself as a dark haired person. My hair is now thicker, shinier and much healthier looking. I’ve had quite a few compliments and some even say I look a lot younger! A lot of people think I’ve had it streaked and coloured to get it to look the way it does. I don’t think they believe me when I tell them it’s completely natural. It is pure white in some places and various shades of grey in others and still a bit dark at the back. Funny thing is I’ve changed the style a bit too. That just sort of evolved. I hid behind a long fringe for 30 years and now I have no fringe and I’m wearing it longer than I had previously. You are right, a bad hair day is really bad and I don’t like to wear white as much as before. But on the whole I really love it now and would never go back to colouring it. Good for you! I would love to see what yours looks like now. Xx

Reply
Trish

Just saw your recent photo on Instagram . You look gorgeous, Vicki! Hair and glasses!

Reply
Deb

I have been colouring my hair since I was 23 (first greys appeared). Mahogany or auburn shades on my dark brown bob which years later stopped looking nice. (I was told I looked like Snow White) The contrast with my pale skin didn’t suit me anymore. I’d always pull out the sneaky grey hairs that were ever increasing. My hairdresser at the time suggested I gradually go lighter which I did and I eventually became a blonde. I’ve tried various shades, made many mistakes but settled on having my roots done a bit darker (colour fades a bit) than the blonde highlights. In between visits to the hairdresser. I simply colour the roots at home (part and hairline) making sure the colour isn’t too dark. I have been thinking about when the right time to uncover the grey will be. I’m in my late fifties now and seriously I don’t think I will till I reach 70. As far as length goes…….. mid lengh or a bit longer.
I love the way Diane Keeton wears her hair. Mid length or longer she always looks good. I also like Helen Mirrim’s hair.
Debbie

Reply
Kim Webb

I went grey over two years ago now, it was hard at first but now I see for me it was a liberating choice. There are still days when I look in the mirror and wonder if I should visit the hairdresser but they are few and far between these days. My hairdresser encouraged me saying that I could look just as good with my grey hair cut into as she put it a short funky cut – I love it, my family and friends love it –

Reply
Lori

I get so tired of everyone believing dyed hair makes them look younger. I see many older women with gray hair who radiate style and grace. Exercise, A good hair cut, regular skin care, a few stylish pieces of clothing (and shoes!) and a radiant smile and outlook help us present something much better that youth. I love my gray hair – I hope you learn to love yours too!

Reply
Jeanne Henriques

Love the photo of you on IG Vicki and I imagine your new locks are looking wonderful in shades of grey. I tried but couldn’t pull myself through it. I now have grey with a blend. My colourists wants me to go all colour and highlight…but I hate that streak. I will take subtle grey and blonde and warm brown and every other colour under the rainbow for now. I may just take another try after my sons wedding .. I reckon it will be years before the next. I might just get there by then. ;).. All the best Vicki…as always, I love reading along. xx

Reply
Jean

Hi brave hearted Vicky, touche.. I enjoyed your honest post today.. thanks for it.. I went to my hairdresser Ralph this week, with a new make over in mind.. a shorter I felt more hip, more modern me.. and wo and behold.. he wouldn’t cut it!
Said I’d be loosing all my ‘distinguished’ natural silver highlights.. which are so amazing..he did give a great new look, thankfully he knows better than me..
So.. strut your stuff Vicky.. and go out there and be totally you, ..

Reply
Joanna Morgan

I too thought my dark brown hair was a part of my identity. But having my hair colored every 2-3 weeks became unrealistic. So for a few months now I have had it highlighted. The incoming white just blends in. To my surprise I absolutely love it! I have never gotten as many compliments as I’m getting now. Now I have been going longer and longer between the hair appointments. I will see how it goes :) Since I stopped coloring my hair so much, I noticed how much healthier it’s gotten. The texture is different, I don’t need so much product. And yes, graying hair “forces” you to re-assess the wardrobe, which is fun. Thank you for writing about the subject! It helps to see there are many women out there “in the same boat”. Greetings – Joanna

Reply
Barb Bestone

Now 65 and I have a majority of silvery white in front with salt an pepper in the back, and it’s shoulder lenght at this time. I’m letting it grow and I think the reason for letting it grow longer is that there is a sensual part of me that is yearning for long hair. My eye and intuition are in agreement with this, just as when I first decided at 62 to stop coloring my hair. I ” neede” to be ‘me’….and I had faith that what first colored my hair a deep auburn brown–that complimented my coloring–would now color me the best for me again. It feels amazing to be who I need to be, for me and not for anyone or anything else! I wear colors that I never had before and I’ve learned what those colors are and shopping has become so much easier. Have your colors analyzed if you’re in doubt–and that includes makeups also! So, embrace your authenticity and let your hair down and be you—for you!! -g-

Reply
kathy

I love this conversation. I live in Beverly Hills where it’s a sin to age. As a native, I really don’t care and am fortunately immune to lots of the rules we follow here. I colored my hair with blond highlights for 45 years. I went grey or silver as I call it a few years ago when my streaks in front matched my silver in front. Personally I’ve never felt better. I wish the rest would go silver but it’s basically the front and sides. And what a pleasure it is. I love being certain that silver jewelry enhances, I loved seeing so many women in Paris last Spring with various shades of silver and grey. Finally I’ve found with the proper foundation it’s just as striking or maybe more than coloring your hair. Your skin has to look good, that’s important but it’s such an easier life! No roots, yea no roots, the best thing ever!!! I am so new to your site and just love it…Paris in 7 days to wander for 10 weeks. That is my bliss.

Reply
Sande Chase

Your hair could be green and it would still be impossibly chic Vicki, I am so proud of you for going gray and from what I have seen it is beautiful on you. You know i am going to say the next……….think of how much healthier it will be now to not use hair dye. I went gray a few years ago but my colour just wasn’t “ready” and was a odd shade of lacklustre gray so I did highlight again. I think it is a process in timing such as you did and it shows it’s perfect colour if you watch and wait. Since my cancer surgery in August when they shaved half my head to now when I have lost the rest due to treatment it is a much nicer colour, almost white blonde, the colour I was born with almost. Everyone comments on it so I think it has become a much more pretty gray with lots of sparkly white. I know that I will avoid hair dye for a long while so this is it! Sometimes, acceptance is everything as we navigate through the older, wiser years and knowing when to embrace change is reflected back out with our appearance, People really can tell when “we own it” and admire our bravery in first accepting our aging selves in a most healthy of manner. Good conversation Vicki and you look incredible! Much love. xx

Reply
Joanna Morgan

Dear Vicki – the in-between is the most challenging! I faced the same dilemma a year or so ago – to color or not to color? I have been growing out the grey for a few months now, and it gets easier. I admit I still get some balayage every 4 months, but only to blend in the demarcation line. Many people do not realize what I’m doing, and complement me on going blond! I have embraced the change, I like what’s happening “up there”, and on the bad days I also look at my Pinterest board of “silver foxes” for inspiration and encouragement. Bon courage my friend! xo Joanna

Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read previous post:
de Gournay, SHawn Henderson Design, Vicki Archer
Inspired By #9

Close