8 May 2017

The Best Kept Beauty Secrets #17

The Best Kept Beauty Secrets, Patience, on vickiarcher.com


Beauty is one of those extraordinary and intangible qualities.

We find beauty in the most obvious and the least likely ways and each of us interpret what we find beautiful very differently.

The joy of life is the search and the discovery of what we each consider, beauty. For beauty is, ‘in the eye of the beholder’ and thankfully that is so otherwise life would be very black and white. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than watching how others interpret and never do we each see in the same way. It is really a miracle.

As I think about the beauty secrets that aren’t those easily dispensed from a tube or those that require the hands of others I find my thoughts resting with those qualities to inspire and the attributes that help us grow as women. As much as beauty is all about the practical, how much we sleep, the water we drink and the exercise we take, it is also about the less definable and the harder to attain. If finding beauty is a life long journey then attaining “beauty” must be a life’s work.

Life in France has taught me patience, patience for many things and as I observe those who practice patience I see it is a powerful beauty secret.

Patience is as simple as waiting for the season to arrive to enjoy nature’s produce or giving time to listen to those who are needy. We might want tomatoes in May but they are better in July. The long tales that don’t impact us may bore us but someone wants to be heard and needs our time. That’s what patience is. As delicious as instant gratification can be and as accustomed as many of us have become I am trying to avoid it in the main part. It won’t win out long term but patience will.

A woman with patience is mighty attractive.

It is a tough nut to crack for many of us. It has been for me and the truth is I am nowhere near what I would call a “patient” person. I have moments of patience and unfortunately times where it well and truly deserts me. Patience comes in many forms and like anything requires practice to make perfect. Patience isn’t always the answer either; there can be a fine line between being patient and disengagement. The real art is to know when to be patient and when action should be called for.

When patience becomes second nature and a familiar trait our lives change; frustration and impatience become strangers. That’s where the beauty part kicks in. Patient people have a different aura, calmness and attractiveness. I think those of us still working on our “patience” gravitate to those who exude this quality. A kind of serenity develops and hopefully becomes infectious.

“Practice makes perfect” ? I think I will finish with, “patience makes perfect”. xv


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images of juliette binoche by richard avedon

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Anita Rivera

Oh how true…..patience is such a difficult thing to grasp, but nature can teach us about it:the inevitable yet slow arrival of spring (for those of us in cold climates), the bare garden that finally fills in, the beautiful wrinkles that only with time and wisdom begin to appear as a road map to guide your destiny. But another sort of beauty is often overlooked: the will to see something beautiful in others, especially those who do not always behave in an attractive manner. I am constantly learning this, and the moment I let down my guard and see something lovely in one not so beautiful, I break through my hard shell, and something gracious is born.


Morning Anita,

Do you know what prompted this piece this morning? It was the peonies in our garden.

I have planted the bulbs a few years ago now and I wait all year for a week or so of the most incredible scent. I thought to myself I have learned patience. Like the lilac, I bring them inside, inhale their fragrance about 20 times a day and make my children and friends smell them too! The scent is nothing like a store bought peony. They are short lived and I will probably have one or two more filled vases and then I will have to wait another year. Once upon a time I would have raced to the shop,bought the bunches and been happy. Now patience has taught me the difference. :)


My favorite read each week. Never have I encountered such a similar affinity for places, décor, fashion, and life. Thank you.

Mimi Gregor

Patience is difficult for me. I am used to walking briskly, driving fast, and since I like to be waited on immediately, I run my errands during the hours when other people aren’t. Why am I in such a hurry? I have no idea. I have all day to use at my discretion, and no appointments to be on time for. And yet this rushing about is an ingrained habit for me. I so admire people who seem serene and patient. I don’t know how they manage to escape the tyranny of time.


I know exactly what you mean, Mimi. Spending so much time has really taught me patience and I like to think I am better for it! Of course I revert to my old habits more often than I would like… ;)

Stephanie Anderson

L💞VELY POST…Peonies…My Favorite Flower…The mention of them brings back so many fond memories of my childhood home.Thank you for this on this beautiful lovely Monday morning.
Patience…How are you so wise and always know what topic is so relevant to so many of your readers?
Turning 65 and reassessing my life…wanting to make sure that Mentally and Physically I go forward with a continued “loving” attitude but also with grace and patience…So much to do…so much to learn…I will keep your thoughts about Peonies close to my ❤️going forward and understand that some of the “best things” in life takes a commitment to patience.
As always your post is wonderful!


Thank you Stephanie…
I am not at all wise but I do try and look for the connections in our daily life and I try and be as observant as I can..
Grace and patience are wonderful attributes and ones I aspire to learn… a little each day is my goal… and when my patience fails or I am less graceful than I like.. I remember there is always tomorrow… :)

mona turner

Good Morning Vicki,
Have you seen the movie “The Zookeeper’s Wife?” What patience she held with such grace and beauty in this true story, starring Jessica Chastain. It’s a must see! I too anxiously await my heavenly scented peonies with their ruffled petals that I adore. It is so worth the wait!


Hello Vicki,
So agree about peonies. Especially the white and pale pink ones. My lesson lately with patience has been with a cup of caterpillars. My three little grandchildren have been watching and waiting for them to turn into painted lady butterflies. Patience is a learned life skill and painful sometimes. But beauty emerges in the most unlikely places. Thank you for the reminder.
My best.


A very eloquent post! It’s a good reminder of what can come from practicing patience. For me it’s a work in progress, so I loved hearing your advice.

I too love peonies, though unfortunately we can’t grow them in Northern California. Someone told me it’s because it never freezes here.


Bonjour Vicki,

Ah, peonies and patience! My favourite bloom also, and one for which I waited (patiently) each year to buy for myself for my birthday each November. I, too, am Australian and peonies in Sydney were always such a brief moment in time during the month of November when I bought them from the florist. Now I live in France and have inherited five gorgeous peony bushes. Not that I knew that they were peonies when I first ‘met’ them. We moved into our abode during Autumn when the peony bushes were rather ugly, woody sticks. I gave said sticks a stern ‘talking to’ saying that I would give them until the following year to give me a perfect reason as to why they should stay. And they did – to my absolute delight they were peonies. This city girl had never seen them growing before. Light pink, dark pink and white. At this very moment they scent my home, at once intense and yet so subtle. A patient moment and now the reward. But why does it take us so long to learn patience? One of life’s most necessary attributes.
Merci pour votre poste toujours.



A beautiful post, Vicki. It’s those intangible qualities, sourced from within the soul, that really enhance our outer beauty: patience – making time to really listen; kindness – a gentle smile for a stranger; confidence – a feeling of uniqueness and self worth as we go about our day. These qualities cannot be underestimated in contributing to our ‘attractiveness’, nor can be found in a bottle or under a cosmetic surgeon’s knife.


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