14 Aug 2018

The Best-Kept Beauty Secrets #20

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder  – Sure.

But beauty is very much within.

Beauty secrets come in all types. The practical tips, tricks and products are essential to our beauty routines but the emotional and philosophical can be life changing.

Optimism is a beauty secret and pessimism is a killer.

I don’t even like writing, “pessimism” out loud for fear it might enter into my sub-conscious; let’s be overzealous, eager and enthusiastic than let negativity enter the thought processes.

I like the glass being half-full.

I want to think the best in all situations and I have to believe good will win over evil. Otherwise, what is the point?  Yes, there are varying degrees of naivety and I am not suggesting childlike innocence as a solution in all scenarios, but we must remain optimistic.

Optimism about who we are and our future should be front of mind; pessimism only guarantees one outcome. Pessimism is worse than fear, both are paralyzing but at least fear can be overcome. A negative nature is a hard one to shake and alienates us from ourselves and others. Whoever wants to be around darkness and gloom?  Do we ever feel willingly excited to be with people who see nothing but the worst?

Starting the day with an optimistic outlook pretty much ensures the day will work out that way. It’s like a secret driving force to help us navigate all we must.

How is optimism a beauty secret?

Beauty is about attraction and we are smitten, intrigued and beguiled by beauty. We all want to feel and be considered beautiful and I don’t think any of us would consider “looks” as the answer or the benchmark for feeling beautiful.  Who doesn’t love, Beauty and the Beast?  We have adored this particular tale where beauty shines from within and love triumphs over all. The Beast must have been the very definition of optimism.

Optimism, like self-confidence, makes others feel good about themselves and believe in them. What can be more beautiful? I refuse to surround myself with negativity, I won’t tolerate it as it is infectious and not in a good way. Pessimism has a way of transferring self-doubt, of second-guessing and making what we believe to be true seem lesser. Not good. Our self-confidence is everything and our most valuable asset.

Being around those who see the glass half-full rubs off. Shoulders drop and the smiles brighten; there becomes a solution for everything and hope takes its rightful place rather than impossibility and despondency.

Wish I could bottle it. xv

Pink Makes Me Feel Very Optimistic

bobbi brown bright raspberry  ||  chanel nail colour in camelia  ||  allude cashmere sweater  ||  tory burch mule in crazy pink

images, antonio gutierrez pereira and david seidner

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Taste of France

You are so right. The daughter of a friend is someone who shines the brightest in any room she enters, but she would never be thought the prettiest, or even pretty at all. She is the flame that all are drawn to because she is full of energy and always has a great story to tell–usually funny and never complaining.


When I think about the people I like to be with… it is never down to their physical looks but as you say.. always their attitudes and personalities.. She sounds adorable… :)


We have a choice every day.
Decide to be positive.
And when negativity strikes, get up and move!


This piece hits home in a very particular way… I was very upset (an understatement) the other day and found myself after lunch with nothing particular to do and conveniently next to shopping. I drifted in and out of stores in almost a daze, but did pick up a few things, some necessary, some not but all some lovely shade of PINK. I had been looking for a proper trenchcoat that would not look frumpy but still be utilitarian for over 2 years…. lo and behold…. a lovely blush trench found me…. and so did a pair of bubblegum pink Adidas sneakers (I rarely wear sneakers, but these were so cheery)….. and so did a creamy pink pencil skirt…. and a retro print blouse in pink flowers…. I didn’t realize until I got home and showed my husband my purchases that they were all PINK. My subconscious was reaching for a little bit of happy without my knowing.

Linda B

I have had some hard situations to get through in the past two years–two accidents laid me up with broken bones at various points. My parents have gone downhill so much –each falling and breaking a hip in the last year, and my father declining ever further into his Alzheimer’s. Work has also had some huge crises to deal with. But although I confess that there have been some moments of despair in all this, I have learned more than ever the power of optimism. Whenever I walk around the campus where I work or my neighborhood, and someone greets me with “How are you today?”, even if I am in the middle of dealing with some big stuff I quickly ask myself “How am I in THIS MOMENT?” And the answer is FANTASTIC, 99% of the time. So that’s how I answer. . .And it is a good way to stay embedded in optimism!


Totally agree with all you have written. But we must remember that sometimes people suffer depression, whether it’s the “baby blues”, or caused by severe loss eg – of a loved one, through death or separation. Or sometimes for no obvious reason. They need real help and support from professionals but also empathy, patience and kindness from friends and those they care about and who care about them. We should rejoice in our own good fortune in having a happy home and family and friends but also have empathy for others. Currently I have two dear friends with cancer, one terminal the other an alarming recurrence. Both these women work hard at being positive and as active as they can be but you couldn’t blame them if they were negative at times. Blessings. Pamela


I’m not referring to depression or lack of empathy in any way, Pamela and agree this is a whole other subject which I feel far too unqualified to tackle… or negativity caused by illness… that’s a whole other deal. I lost 3 very dear friends last year, suddenly and shockingly.. yet I must say they were incredible and certainly showed me perspective. There isn’t a day I don’t miss them and I still hear one of them saying to me… “maximum good days”… that was her goal after diagnosis and that is how she lived out her final days. Never anything but positive all the way… She would cheer me up.. actually the three of them did! :) Amazing women… but by in large, women truly are :)

Michelle à Détroit

We must hit “delete” and remove toxic people from our lives. They will drain the energy and joy out of us if given the chance.

On another note, so much depends upon our own perspective and how sometimes we need to change it. As much as I adore my husband, I was terrified at the thought of his impending retirement. What WILL I do with a hard charging trial lawyer underfoot?? One day, I thought to myself, I love this man and I enjoy spending time with him. I decided to look forward to having more time together and I’ll never look back.


It is all a matter of perception, isn’t it?
Hope you two are having a great time together.. :)


Sounds like you have “bottled it”…. in your heart, Vicki. I do believe in this beauty secret and try to live it everyday.

Carol Want

Joni Mitchell wrote a song titled, ‘Happiness is the Best Facelift’.
I couldn’t agree more!!

Judy M

Optimism v Pessimism, the extremes of our choices/outlook…..we all know that we shine brighter when embracing the first. Acceptance of the situation we often find ourselves in allows us to step forward, and build resilience, to sustain us through the tough times. We all know just how wonderful it feels when we are surrounded by the positive ‘influencers’ in our lives. Smiles replace frowns…..the lines on our faces often tell the full story. Amen to lots of water and a brilliant moisturiser!! Beauty within….beauty on the outside.


Good morning, Vicki! You are SO right. I prefer to see the glass half full no matter what the circumstance. Negativity is a cancer, (UGH, hate even writing that “C” word) and it spreads so easily. But positivity and love spread even further and more deeply, so our “weapon” of love is far greater. Here’s to love as secret to everlasting beauty!


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