1 Oct 2018

The Compliment: 3 X Daily

The Compliment: 3 x Daily on vickiarcher.com



 

Giving or Receiving?

Receiving a compliment is absolutely wonderful but giving one and watching the recipient’s reaction is the best feeling of all.


I believe in complimenting strangers if I notice something to admire. A woman’s hair, a fabulous coat or a well-executed job; the compliment is one thing but it is the noticing that counts.


Having our eyes open and receptive to those around us is genuinely what counts. So often when I notice someone and offer a compliment, his or her reaction is the same. “Do I really think so”? I do, or I wouldn’t be saying it, but this makes me realise we do not compliment each other enough. We take each other far too for granted and “seeing” others, even those we don’t know, are equally as important.


Having all the self-confidence in the world is one thing but sharing it around is what is important too. Being open and generous is a sign of not only confidence but also personal contentment. Wanting to save all the positivity for us doesn’t suggest a happy place.


Why I know a compliment can make the day is because an unsolicited kindness or comment makes me feel on top of the world. It is not expected nor taken for granted; never presumed and not a given. A spontaneous compliment received is like a shot of adrenalin. If I feel like this, I know others will too so why be shy?



There is an art to complimenting.

We must really mean it. A loaded compliment is no compliment at all.


Spontaneity is everything. A compliment is a genuine reaction to someone or something we have seen; don’t be shy.


Be observant and really see what’s happening. Complimenting is a great way of noticing.


Do and say because you want to; no fishing. Be up front.




My recommendation? Compliment 3 x daily; it’s the best medicine we will ever take. xv




I’d Compliment These

treasure turtleneck  ||  isabel marant pink cashmere ||  ganni pink mohair  ||  holiday boileau in pink




image, vogue 1975, margaretha olschewsk

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14 Comments

Mumbai

I do or I wouldn’t be saying it, otherwise it would be fawn on somebody and dishonest.
Like complimenting but also to get one.

Reply
Philippa

I actually love giving compliments and do it regularly. I’m happy to give you one Vicki – you produce a
delightful, entertaining, and visually inspiring website. Thank you for that.

Reply
Vicki

How very kind Philippa… I do love creating the content and I have some amazingly talented girls who help me at the moment… so while I can, I will :) :)

Reply
Stephanie

Vicki,
Such a lovely idea to start October with.
Throughout the years I have always enjoyed giving a “heartfelt” compliment. In fact, I know there’s a lot of pain and uncertainty in this world and it’s just nice to know that I may have made a small difference in someone’s life!
And may I compliment and thank you over and over for the beauty and knowledge you bring into so many of our homes each and every day. Vicki, you are wonderful! ❤️

Reply
Mary

My career as an art educator taught me the importance of giving meaningful compliments. It is an amazing thing to watch the expression of the recipient…their faces would light up and they would return to heir work with renewed enthusiasm and new insights as a result. Compliments can encourage more thoughtful personal critiques toward improvement if carefully crafted toward that goal. Criticism, on the other hand, rarely promoted my goal of guiding my students toward doing their best work!

Reply
Taste of France

It’s the easiest thing to do and makes a person’s day so much brighter. Sometimes you get an extra surprise. I stopped a fabulous-looking woman at the market recently. I asked to take her photo. She obliged and then told me she was 82 (she looked about 60). We chatted for quite a long time and she was so interesting. If I hadn’t dared to tell her how great she looked, I would never have had the pleasure of learning what a great person she was inside as well.

Reply
Sue

Oh Vicki, this is a wonderful topic and complimenting is one of my best ‘feel good’ things to do! I studied and taught Visual Arts so am very aware of all things around me, particularly the beauty and the emotional. I recently complimented an extremely striking older woman who was in a restaurant with her husband/friend/partner. Whilst so beautifully dressed with great attention to her amazing hair (much like yours) and clothes, she looked ‘lonely’ and sad. Passing her to leave, I bent down and complimented her and to my surprise she stood and held my forearms and said ‘you’ll never know how much your compliment means to me today’, smiled and sat down again. Walking to a taxi my husband said ‘you should give compliments more often, you look like the cat who stole the cream’. I know I did! No matter how much my compliment lifted the spirits of this stranger, it lifted mine ten-fold! Wonderful, wonderful topic and something, if we’re comfortable with, do more often. It’s like smiling at strangers. Living in such fast changing and not always good times, I think it’s vitally important to show kindness even in just the smallest ways. It makes a difference!

Reply
Vicki

So, so true, Sue.
I have recently moved neighbourhoods in London and even though it’s only 10 minutes away there is a world of difference with the residents. There is still the gritty cross-section that a city like London has but there is so much more smiling here. At first, I was thinking have I accidentally ignored someone I know but now I recognise it for what it is – happy people. Not everyone of course but there is much more communication.

That’s what I love about southern France – people take the time ( sometimes too much… ha .. ha) to talk to each other.. say hello and enquire..

Reply
Sunflower

A while ago I was waiting for my husband in a hospital reception after both of us had visited our very ill close friend and was feeling slightly wobbly and upset. My husband had called in the loo as I patiently stood not really taking notice of anyone when a lady walked towards me. I didn’t know her but she smiled and just said, “a wonderful stylish dress that suits you very well.” She then walked away as I jolted to her words and shouted, “thank you for your kind words.” The compliment completely took me by surprise and whilst I did love my dress the visit to the hospital was draining and was the least of my concerns but these few words from a stranger actually made my day and was something I just needed at that time. I have since complimented many women I don’t know about their clothes or hair and hope my kind words make a difference to them.

Reply
Vicki

I know they do!
Sometimes the smallest gestures can elicit the most profound responses. I love reading all your comments as it makes me really appreciate the small ways we can add goodness into the lives of others… Note to self… to do more :)

Reply
Susan Lamb

So easy to do and so worthwhile for all. Adore you and all your posts! Many thanks!

Reply

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