15 Apr 2019

Body Confidential: Staying Positive

Body-Confidential-How-To-Be-Body-Positive-vicki-archer


Does anybody ever feel perfectly happy with their body?

If they do I admire them.


I know we should be happy with what we have and not sweat the small stuff – we all want to think bigger and rise above – but truthfully there are days when a slimmer girth and a set of giraffe legs would come in handy. I am sure you know what I mean?


There are days, despite the regime of health and exercise, when our body confidence is reduced. There may be a very valid reason or our “low” can simply be imaginary; it doesn’t matter, it is how we feel that counts. Circumstances and mood drive how we feel about our bodies and while we mightn’t like them, they are in our control.


And control is everything, especially when we are talking body confidence.


The same philosophy can be applied to our skincare routines; if we feel our skin is glowing, our serums are working and we look , as we want, then all is right with the world. Sometimes a change in product is all that is needed for that boost in confidence. The same applies to our body confidence; small changes can reap great rewards.



How do we feel positive when all we see is negative?

Having 100% confidence in my body has never been my strong suit, far from it. I was one of those chubby children who turned out slim but probably always saw myself differently. Teenage years are all about “how we look” and “why don’t we look like xxx” – I played that game well into my ’20’s. It is not a great game as women generally don’t win; high expectations and unrealistic realities. I am sure it is extremely difficult for young women today with greater exposure to social media and in-depth focus on celebrities.


As a grown up I now appreciate how much time was wasted on the impossible and if my younger self had been smarter, she would have figured this out. These days there are still moments when the body confidence flees but I am accepting. It’s not that I don’t care how I look, of course, I do but I care about other things more. If I do my best and make the effort then I try and turn a blind eye to what I don’t like or at the very least manipulate my fashion choices to give the impression I want.



Tips and Tricks To Stay Body Positive

Acceptance

Nobody has the perfect body and nobody feels like that, even the most gorgeous glamazons on the planet. Everyone shares insecurities so we need to put them where they belong and not feel alone. A bad day is only the day before a good one.


Be Realistic

Don’t beat yourself up for the impossible and desire the unachievable. We are all different and we need to embrace this wholeheartedly. The woman you envy is probably flat out wishing she was in your shoes or somebody like you.


Be Kind

We are allowed a day or two to wallow now and then and feeling negative about our bodies doesn’t make us bad, it makes us human. On the less than bright days spoil yourself in a way to uplift your mood.


Make Changes

Examining and analysing what we don’t like about our bodies is the first step in change and working towards them.


Learn What Works

We have all experienced these days, what makes us snap out of them? I need to move, get outside or make plans. I am one of those who likes to be busy and inactivity has never been my friend. When I don’t want to exercise or take a class I make myself. It’s a guaranteed turnaround.


Favourite Fall Back

Our wardrobes need to have a “safe place”, an outfit or two for confidence and comfort with pieces that don’t fail. The blazer that covers a multitude, the 3/4 coat that works with everything, the blouse that brightens the most tired eyes or the dress that makes our midriff disappear. These are the most important pieces in our closets and I don’t ever underestimate their power. Like a travel uniform, they work hard.



I know I can never be 100% happy with “what I got” but I can let the confidence do a lot of the work. xv




These Make Me Feel Good

nili lotan velvet 3/4 coat  ||  jonathon simkhai lace tee  ||  isabel marant pinstripe blazer  ||  kay unger column gown  thinking ballerina length




this feature contains affiliate links

illustration, miyuki ohashi 

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11 Comments

Robin

Beautiful selections, but please bear in mind, many of us who are most dissatisfied with our bodies wear a size that featured items don’t go up to. Would love to see 12, 14, L, XL+
Keep up the beautiful aspirations though…

Reply
Vicki

I try and find the broadest selections in most cases but I’m afraid it’s not in my hands :(
So few sizes on offer and it’s annoying! I agree ..

Reply
Frith Latimer

Never liked my thighs either Vicki, in fact hated my legs but like you I have come to realise there is no chance of them ever getting longer and slimmer so I might as well get over it. In my next life I hope I get a pair of Barbie legs!
Great post, thank you.

Reply
Sunflower

This is post so links with what I would tell my younger self because as I grow older I don’t let things like an imperfect body (in my eyes!) worry me like it did in my teens or 20s. I feel we know what to wear that suits us and the better not younger approach you promote Vicki is the positive way to feel good about ourselves. I tell my lovely daughter many times how gorgeous she looks from her hair to her skin to her outfit choices as I feel her self confidence is important. I also try to compliment women I see wearing something stunning or have a lovely hair cut – that works both ways too as it is rewarding seeing the surprise and delight when another woman is complimentary. Lovely post Vicki.

Reply
Linda B

I found inner narrator saying over and over as I read this post that “Vicki took the words right out of my mouth!” I particularly love the list of tips and tricks. I generally use almost all of them already, but some days, an external reminder like this list is wonderful to have. Thank you!

Reply
Vicki

My pleasure, Linda… Sometimes I cross my fingers that you all think like I do and I am not talking to myself ;) :)

Reply
Deb

I too struggle with my thighs but on the up side I have a “well turned” ankle! My Grandmother’s words! Oh to have lived in the days of stepping out of a carriage, raising one’s skirts to reveal that well turned ankle!!!
When I get in a fug about my legs- I pull myself together and be grateful that they work and have carried me to so many amazing places for 63 years and hopefully many more to come!

Reply
anitapelayorivera

Good morning, Vicki!

This is such a great topic that warrants a workshop of some sort.I feel that a gathering of women (and men too) to discuss this would be an amazing seminar. Perspectives from all sides would be the presenters to share how we all cope with changes in our bodies. I recently had two health “scares” that changed my thinking about what I already have. I’ve experienced my share of negative thinking about my thighs and other body parts all my adult life, but over the last few years, those cares have diminished. After a recently mammography and dentist appointment, I was relieved to find that a few health fears were not real, but slow signs of aging. Something interesting happened to me however, during the waiting period for a diagnosis. I loved my body more and accepted what I have more.

Reply
Vicki

Yes, it’s so confronting when we think something is not right or either not working properly and body insecurities, whatever they are, are put into perspective. Nothing like a “scare” to shake us up. I also feel we are allowed somedays to feel less than brilliant because it makes other days even brighter :)

Reply

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