27 Aug 2019

Better Not Younger: A Game Of Challenge

This Is A Game Of Challenge: Better Not Younger on vickiarcher.com

Better, not younger.
This is a game of challenge.


It is a challenge not to want to look younger, feel younger, act younger and “be” younger. We know in all honesty we can’t but it doesn’t stop us trying. Even the more confident of us must waiver slightly from time to time. Awareness of what is right, the knowledge of good sense and the wisdom to follow through are not always by our side.

Being better and not younger takes hard work and practise every day.

We have to fight all those clichés that taunt us. The world is stuck on this idea that youth is somehow better and we of the older generation regret ageing and aspire to be more youthful.

Rubbish, I object vehemently and vote for age and wisdom.

Yes, I look in the mirror sometimes and get one almighty fright. Who is that woman looking back? Do I know her? How did she become a grown-up? In nanoseconds, the shock recedes and my focus re-equates to reality, I am the woman I am and the way I look does not define me. I care about being a better version of myself and that involves so much more than surface beauty. Don’t misunderstand, I do want to look fabulous, dress well and walk down the street with a pep in my step and catch an eye or two. I don’t for one minute believe that looking younger at my age will make that happen; it is my inner self, my confidence and what I give back that will reap those rewards.

The flip side of ageing is acceptance. Age is a privilege denied to many and I don’t ever wish to take this for granted. Growing old means freedom and liberty; age is an honour bestowed on the lucky ones.

How can we be better as mature women?

Most importantly we need to ignore the youth-obsessed culture we are surrounded with; this doesn’t mean a lack of understanding or appreciation. Granted, the emphasis is changing and older women are being applauded for their intelligence, beauty and accomplishments. Nevertheless, it is difficult not to feel invisible at times. I know that feeling of invisibility, it happens to all of us and creeps up and destabilises us when we let our guards down.

We can work on our self-confidence and surround ourselves with like-minded people. Positive energy is the only energy to engage with. Confidence is like physical exercise it requires us to practise to be expert. It’s not easy to be confident and even those who appear to have the brightest smiles face insecurity from time to time. Insecurity is natural but letting it overwhelm and define us is dangerous.

If we don’t like something about ourselves, let’s change it. Action and re-action help us be better, more content and grow confidence. We should focus on the positive and attack only those areas we know we can make progress in. Unrealistic expectations are the easiest way to fail and thinking we need to be younger to appearbetter is a trap for young players.

Growing older and ageing gracefully is a game of challenge.

Every day our minds and bodies are challenged with the expected and the unexpected. Better, not younger means rising to those challenges, facing them head-on and working through them until we like the outcome. xv

How to rise to this challenge? Read more HERE

images lesley manville

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At times it’s a struggle, particularly since I’ve chosen not to use Botox… I’m deathly allergic, that’s not overstated, to most everything, and my dermatologist thinks I’m making the right decision by not risking Botox. I read that when looking at ourselves in our own mirror, we can appear to be seven years younger, and I believe that. The two magic mirrors in my master bath are from the 1800’s, and as long as I stay home… I look like I’m 40. xoxox, Brenda

Michelle à Détroit

There are four factors that frankly, I think have made aging easier for me. First, I stopped excessive sun exposure and started using Retin-A when it first came on the market in the 80’s. I have used it daily since. As a result ai do not need to wear foundation. Second, I have stayed the exact same US size 4-6 that I have always been (a US 4-6 today was the 8-10 of yesteryear, before “vanity” sizing). I never did put on weight in my mid section. That, I attribute largely to genetics. Third, I believe that no one knows or can care for my hair better than I can. Other than getting periodic blunt edge trims, I avoid stylists like the plague. I believe that my hair is healthier for it. Fourth, I am ruthlessly objective about what looks good on me. Bottom line, no one would gasp if they saw me at a 50th reunion.


“Age is a privilege denied to many and I don’t ever wish to take this for granted.”
Thank you for this reminder. A colleague, who is younger than me, has just been told her cancer is back and that it’s terminal this time. It puts my morphing face and body in perspective.

Lana Botha

Oh Vicki, I so agree with every word! I was grey at a very young age – yes, at the very young age of twenty I started going grey! When I was in my early thirties, a male colleague asked why I don’t dye my hair. He was horrified that I had grey hair. So, that’s when the dyeing began. I’m fifty nine now and my hair stylist and I have come up with a plan to let the grey “slowly” take over. I am so excited! I am hoping for a “grey burst” at my sixtieth birthday celebration – lol! Oddly though, I have been told that I look much younger than my fifty nine years! That’s just good cleansing, very little make-up, daily use of Nutri Woman eye lift gel, clothing to suit my body – not the current trend and I have no idea what else! Growing old gracefully and not trying to be youthful is definitely the way to go!


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