25 Sep 2017

Better Not Younger: Trust Your Instinct

Better Not Younger: Trust Your Instinct on vickiarcher.com

Do you trust your instinct?

This philosophy of mine, “better not younger” means trusting my instinct has an important role.

Ageing hopefully means we have learned to follow our instincts and trust them. Whenever I don’t listen to my mind, body and heart I usually regret it. Trusting our instincts is not only a natural response but also a learned one over time. It goes without saying our instinctive reactions should improve with age.

Self-confidence has a lot to do with instinct.

When confidence dips, so does our ability to make good judgements. I equate a loss of self-confidence with an inability to make decisions. The doubts, the fears and the uncertainties seem to come racing to the forefront of my mind when I am not feeling on top of the world and any natural instinct I have will be completely overwhelmed. This will usually result in a poor conclusion and I can hear myself saying, if only I had trusted my instincts.

Trusting our instinct means investing in us. It means believing we have the answers at our fingertips and it also means following through. There is no point being full of bravado without the conviction to back it up.

Our instinct is ours and ours alone; instinct is a gift we can share but not impose on others.

Instinct is a powerful tool and ageing means we have had the time to practice and hone this invaluable skill. How easy it is at times to see the answers and how hard it is to sit back and watch others take an alternative path?

Sometimes we have no explanation for why our instincts lead us in a certain direction but we know we must follow them. This is always a difficult one to explain. Do you know what I mean? The feeling deep within something is right but there is no exact source to pinpoint why – you just know.

Age and the experience have enabled me to trust my instinct and rely on it completely. I rely on my instincts in the smallest day-to-day way and I believe in them implicitly for the bigger picture. I am grateful for them.

The gift of instinct is not one I take for granted.

It is a skill honed over many decades and one to lead into many interesting situations. Instinct stops me from over-thinking and that is both an advantage and a curse. When the mind won’t stop with the gymnastics I reflect on my first thoughts, my initial hunch and 99% of the time there is my answer.

I know I cannot be younger but I am very aware I can be better; I simply must trust my instincts. xv

Trust Your Instinct In This

camel v neck ||  camel cashmere round  ||  camel turtleneck  ||  camel crew neck  ||  camel slouchy

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Trust them and trust you… Instinct is one of our skills and part of us to truly improve with age :)

Anita Rivera

I agree that becoming BETTER at who we are, what we do and how we cultivate the bigger picture of our existence is the best survival tactic in this world that simply wants to rob us of our joy. Instinct is a gift and we must use it wisely and LISTEN to it!


Listening is key in every sense, isn’t it? To ourselves and to others…
“Survival” is an interesting word Anita… maybe we need a conversation about that :)


Beautiful post to begin the week. It injects some confidence, purpose and good cheer to give new perspective to the agenda of the day.


I believe that instinct has nothing to do with age I rather would call it experience we
gained with age. Anyway an interesting topic


I’m at a point in my life where you thoughts on self-confidence slammed me! I have zero confidence and need to work on it. Thank you. Your post was akin to the greatest little paper found in a fortune cookie!


Wow – how true. What also gives me confidence is working out at the gym and doing long distance walking with my husband. I just returned from working out, and I feel great about myself. I just turned 67 and I feel 25!

Our French Oasis

I just got home after a very stressful meeting. I read this, trusted my instincts and wrote an email that I felt was necessary but that perhaps if I had not read your post I would not have sent. Thank you!

Bella Fedrighi

Thank you for saying what you said so well . I often doubt my instinct and I know I should not . At the moment enter my instinct is also telling me to buy a pair if camouflage jeans bur I am 60. Is it ok or am I too old ? My instinct says I am too old and I should rather go for a pair of skinny jeans with flower embroidery on the side . Suggestion would be welcome


Wear what you feel comfortable in and trust those instincts :)
Try both styles and see how you feel.. not worrying about anything other than that…


Buy the camo jeans Bella! I don’t believe that instinct is telling you that you are too old for them, I think that’s ingrained society talking :)! I am 54, and 3 years ago I stopped trying to hide the white hair which defiantly pushes through my scalp in such abundance. Not only that, but I have also allowed it to grow long! Imagine! Anyway, to my surprise, people actually like it. I think the reason they like it is more for it’s authenticity than it’s aesthetics! :)

Bella Fedrighi

Vicki my instinct says jeans with flower appliques on the side but I like the camouflage jeans . I am 60 size 32 and summer is starting in South Africa . Help me . I will wait for your reply


Bella, I would go with the camouflage as it seems to me you keep coming back to them and really like them. Try them in a subtle camouflage print or even a plain khaki to start – that would be my choice. Look for a pair, “cargp” style in those shades and I have a feeling you will love them.

Here is a link to an image of the kind of style I am suggesting.

Good luck with the purchase :)


I think our instinct is a gift. As far as making healthy decisions that have serious consequences, I definitely think self confidence helps us choose wisely. Also, listening to God through his word is key for me as well.

But for lighter decisions, my initial gut instinct is usually spot on. I always remember buying a very nice piece of jewelry listening to someone else’s taste and not my own. I wish I would have picked my first choice! I should have had more self confidence! :)


Instinct + judgment for anything really important. Sound judgement requires an overview of an issue/situation by the intellect: assessing the various options to arrive at the best result, including having identified both the up and downsides of these options. It usually doesn’t need to take long – often a relatively fast decision is required, ie at work.

But instinct can really help in this process too. Often very helpful in regard to other people. Sometimes you meet a person and you know immediately that you could click if given a chance. Sometimes you meet someone and you know there is something wrong or a reason to be wary about them. Sometimes you can feel they’re in pain or distress, even though it’s not obvious to others. Having taught adults and young adults long ago in a university and other tertiary level institutions there were lots of opportunities to pick up on people’s attitudes and emotions.
Of course all these things pretty well can be applied to clothes and style too. Best wishes, Pamela


When I was younger I could not wait to get old so I could dye my hair pink, wear those huge wrap around sunglasses and wear purple! there was this movement by prior generations “I shall wear purple” what happened? It is about Freedom from the Tyranny of the Shoulds


I agree wholeheartedly. How wonderful it is to have the gift of instinct and the confidence to act on it. Ageing certainly has some benefits.


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