Why is it that confidence makes us appear happier, more beautiful and more fulfilled as women?
Lives can change with confidence.
If I am feeling sure about myself then all becomes right in my world. Confidence is that quality that makes us walk tall, that gives us the courage to go the extra mile and to change the small things in our lives that can lead to the bigger breakthroughs. It allows us to concentrate not only on our appearance but also on our intellectual and our emotional well-being.
Confidence is to be “hopeful, sanguine, certain, satisfied, assertive, self-possessed, at ease, self-reliant, poised, together or unperturbed” and all of these adjectives I would happily use as a description for the woman I wish to be.
It is a sneaky little fellow – he can creep up on us when we least expect it and he can desert us in our hour of need. Confidence is in my control, not beyond my control; confidence is my friend and my ally.
Note To Self: Remember This.
This, however, makes the presumption we can find self-confidence within and at times, however hard we try, this does not happen. It is something we have to work on, make small wins over time and like our bodies, with practice, will become strong and flexible. A boosted self-confidence is not achieved overnight; this quest is a life long process.
How do we build this self-confidence?
In an ideal life, we would have a blissful childhood followed by flawless adolescence. Do you know many women who don’t have some fears or insecurities from their past? I don’t. Self-confidence would be a compulsory immunization administered at regular intervals by parents and life would be rosy for all players. A girl would be brimming with self-confidence from an early age and she would transition through her years with an ample supply.
Sadly, this is not so and will never be because life is not perfect, it is challenging on so many levels.
To be self-confident we have to love ourselves and be kind to ourselves; destructive self-criticism is out. We must rejoice in being women and appreciate what we have, not what we don’t have. We must be optimistic and focus on the positive and not the negative. Negative thoughts are the enemy and should be dealt with quietly, efficiently and with a deathly blow. Confidence is about taking small steps every day and not allowing anyone or any circumstances to undermine. When our self-confidence takes a battering – and it does and often – it is these small steps, learned over time, that enable us to pick ourselves up.
Confidence is about building emotional strength.
We have the greatest resource to build self-confidence at our disposal – each other.
Note To Self: Let’s not forget this.
We must be caring of each other, encourage each other, share with each other and not be threatened or jealous of each other. A confident woman can compliment another with generosity and affection; a woman lacking in self-confidence will be too timid to speak her mind for fear that she may fall prey to criticism.
Complimenting each other is the most natural way to build confidence but how often do we? We forget, we are too pre-occupied or we don’t want to be forward, appear over eager or look unsophisticated. There is nothing better than a compliment – when someone says you have done your job well, your children are a credit to you, your writing struck a chord or you look lovely, the most simple compliment of all. It is euphoric and we blossom with the rush that comes from praise, yet we are so reluctant to offer the very thing that we crave the most.
Compliments are infectious – the more we receive, the more we feel able to give.
A compliment is a mighty tool and one that we all hold in our hands – as women we must use it willingly and witness our confidence flourish, xv.