There is something I am missing.
Other than the obvious – friends, family and a fun night out – even a slight headache from too much banter and aching feet from a night on the dance floor looks positively enticing to me about now.
What I am missing is different from the day-to-day joys we take for granted.
Little by little I have watched it disappear not lost entirely but not the same as before. It is an element of my life I rely on and I need, as it is really a defining part of who I am.
At the start of our lockdown, I felt inspired to diarise my feelings as we entered unchartered territory. Now it feels like every day is Groundhog Day and my words are too repetitive. What is left to say that we haven’t thought or felt? Not to diminish what has happened and what continues to challenge us but as my world has reduced, so have my ideas. That sounds overly dramatic; I am simply reflecting without external stimuli our creativity is truly put to the test.
As an observer of life and a well-travelled one, I took what it meant in a wider sense for granted. My ability to travel and observe fuelled my creativity whether it was 10 or 10,000 kilometres. Looking – really seeing – gave me a multitude of ideas on any given day. These ideas allowed my passion for fashion, kept me coveting and interpreting interiors and striving for more in every which way. Creating is like breathing for me; if I miss a breath I’m out of synch.
Creativity needs stimulation to remain alive. That state will come again.
I don’t believe it is stagnant but rather hibernating like the wise Grizzlies who need their dormancy to rejuvenate.
Could it be change equates with creativity? I am accustomed to a life of change where the flexibility of mind goes hand in hand. I believe mental flexibility and change has the power to keep our minds open and resilient. Staying put for such a long period of time, while so beneficial in many ways, could be the reason I feel my creative output diminished.
I don’t wish to sound spoilt and I am certainly grateful for all the beauty I have in my immediate world and I do not for a minute feel worried creativity has extinguished – it is simply an observation of mine. Friends have asked me what is the greatest change felt during this time of Covid and restrictions? For me, it is without a doubt my lessening creativity. I mind this more than the weird lingering and on-going side-effects of long Covid – much, much more.
Has your creativity suffered or has this period of uncertainty intensified your output?
My tastes have definitely changed and this stay at home period has me craving colour, moving more and practising the arts of a domestic goddess like never before. I like this “altered” me but I doubt she’s here to stay ;)
I am patiently waiting for the creator with a zillion ideas a day to come back. xv
Creativity: The Mellow Yellows Are Where I’m At
image, portobello road, easter monday
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