14 Nov 2009

Do these jeans make me look fat?

 
How many times have I asked myself that question? I have just made the calculation and I figure it must be just under 2000 times. If I have been wearing jeans since my teenage years and I am still wearing them and I am still asking this question about once a week then that equates with 1872 times to be precise. Could I be any more repetitive?….But is there a woman amongst us who has not asked herself this question and who has not demanded of her friends and family to tell the truth. I mean the honest truth because when I interrogate I always begin by….Tell me honestly, do these jeans make me look fat? Whether we really want the truth is another matter and in that case the question would be entirely rhetorical.



When I ask this question I am always amused that I have uttered those seven emotionally charged words yet again. It makes me laugh because I already know the answer and if I thought I looked super skinny in them I wouldn’t be asking – right? It is funny and kind of silly the way I keep repeating this ridiculous question yet I can’t help myself. Deep down I should know better. But why is it that wearing jeans brings out the hidden insecurities in all of us women? The ‘do these jeans make me look fat?’ question is something I suspect all women have in common. 


I just wonder what goes through my mind every time I enter into this exhausted debate. Do I suspect that my legs have grown 6 inches and resemble those of my daughters? Do I think that 7 kgs of body fat has miraculously evaporated into thin air giving me a derriere that would make any man swoon. Why do I torture myself over and over with this question when I already know the truth? Do I really expect the manufacturers of my favourite J Brands to be so clever that they can transform me into a superwoman with the super jeans body. I don’t think so. 


I am a little cleverer these days and so I do tread more cautiously when asking this most confrontational question. I am wise enough to know that you never ask a question when you know the answer will not be to your liking… xv


VA In Your Inbox

subscribe for updates from vickiarcher.com

46 Comments

donna

guess as i have aged i have quit asking this question, as i know at this stage of life……."it is what it is"….i have many pairs of jeans with many kinds of fits…..i try to match the right fit to the right day…..and my mood….it works!

Reply
Deja Pseu

I stopped asking this question. If the jeans fit, I wear them, and if I have concerns, throw on a longer sweater. Life is short.

:-)

Reply
Zita - Mlle Magpie

You're so funny, Vicki. I just just ask whether I look good in these jeans or not, so as to avoid the "fat" word. That way, it could just be the style or cut of the jeans/pants that simply don't suit my body type. It's just a question of finding the right jeans. Simple as that.

Reply
Kristine

Wonderful post! It seems so many of us struggle with this, even when we try so hard to accept and love ourselves just the way we are. The self-criticism is a nasty habit that intellectually we know does no good, but for too many of us it's a tape that's been played in response to a situation for so long, it's difficult to silence.

I'm trying hard to raise my 11 y/o daughter to avoid some of these pitfalls, but it's so difficult given all the influences she faces. I wish I knew better how to promote self-love and acceptance for both her and myself.

Reply
FrenchBlue

Dear Vicki,
I'm telling you right now…Those jeans
DON'T MAKE YOU LOOK FAT!
Here's my thoughts…
Because if they did you would not ask or keep wearing them. Here's the thing.. I never ask anyone, because I know my jeans make me look fat becasue I am..especially compared to my two beautiful daughters. So…the fact that you ask means NO WAY!
You wear them well, I just know~
Big hugs for a great post!!
XO's

Reply
Madame DeFarge

It's depressing to realise how many pairs of jeans I have for to avoid answering that question. I have jeans that would barely fit round one leg any more. But I'm sure they must have fitted me once upon a time.

Reply
Francine Gardner

you are truly a fabulous writer. How did you know what I was just thinking as I was about to put a pair of jeans on before going out to dinner. My husband totally ignore me at this stage in our life as I repeatedly ask Do I look fat in these???? expecting …of course, no darling, you look incredibly sexy…..well, I do not get that answer, so much for american men, at least an italian will always give the answer you are dying to hear…

Reply
for the love of a house

Hi Vicki! (feeling better thank you!!)
As you said, we know the answer before we ask the question… so why ask?! In 21 years of marriage I have never asked that question… I think by asking you only draw negative attention to yourself. Where ones spouse was probably thinking "nice bum" now they think "well, 'does' it look fat???"

Reply
VictoriaArt

I had to laugh, first I thought well, why would she ever ask, I never do…second because that's not true, I have asked the same question silently and in particular when I feel I need to shed a few tiny punds around my midriff….so, dearest, stop asking and enjoy your life in jeans….btw: I just got my new 'Not your daughter's jeans', they really make me look not fat at all and in a size 6 I feel quite confident….
XX
V.

Reply
Marina

I too reserve that question to my Mr N … and also my 3 girls … but they're a lot more honest!

My favourite pair are from 7 for All Mankind!
xx

Reply
Julie@beingRUBY

Vicki
No NO you look wonderful in those jeans my dear!! haha

OH boy.. this will ring true with everywoman.. and strangely I seem to have stopped wearing jeans.. I think I started providing my own answer and it wasn't pretty..haha

Well I think it is a brave man that would wear that tshirt!!

Have a fabulous weekend and thank you for your kind comments over my way xx Julie

Reply
Tawney--A Chichi Life

This is definitely a question familiar to all women. It is funny that we say it when we're already having doubts about the jeans or piece of clothing. Maybe we should just avoid the question and wear what really love.
-Tawney

Reply
Renee Finberg

this is all so true.

i ride horses, and i am always buying little horsie things, like note pads etc,
i had a note pad for the longest time that had a big fat pink horse on it with a tiny saddle in the middle of it's back.
the caption read: " does this saddle make my butt look big"

i loved this note pad sooooo much.
how could you not?

xxxx

Reply
Lee

Oh yes, I know the answer, so I don't even ask my husband/sister/friend the question any more. If in doubt I simply sigh & return to the wardrobe to look (sometimes in vain) for something a little bit more flattering! Lee :)

Reply
Beach Vintage

I think every woman has these strange thoughts Vicki. It's hard because I am still yet to find a great pair of jeans that I adore….maybe next season….. Thanks for visiting me whilst I have been away.

Reply
sinnlighet

Wooooow what particular blog you have… I'm still love it.

Today I want to make a Swedish cyber footsteps behind me.

Agneta, a Swedish one …

Reply
Angie Muresan

And his answer will let you know that you are the most beautiful, desirable woman in the world. And those jeans were made with you in mind. At least that's what my hubby says.

Reply
mary

Oh, Vicki……… How I love this post!!!!!!! No my jeans don't make me look fat!!! I just can't find the perfect ones! xo

Reply
Valerie

Well, I solved this dilema by NEVER
wearing a shirt/sweater (whatever it may be) that hits above my thigh. It may seem unfair that I do this, but I don't ask my self that question when my derierre is not exposed.
In this day and age you can be beautiful and not prisoner to clothing and fashion. Keeping in mind that all women have figure flaws (or will have them) to a certain degree. Go to the beach to remind yourself! (Yes, even in France where my French friend has assured that French women are getting fatter these days![not to be mean here] :)
It seems common sense that no one should like to advertise a figure flaw!
Last point…about comparing your beautiful self with those of your daughters…don't! YOu have age and grace and so much know-how that has taken time to acquire! This is the beauty of maturing…don't mourn the loss of youth but transcend it with something even better!

Reply
Benson

was it Catherine Deneuve that once said -"a woman must choose between her bottom and her face as she gets older." I'm in the same "jeans" as you are–and I don't ask opinions about the bottom anymore but relish in compliments about the face :)

Reply
Gaj

There seems to be such a variety of jeans out there, maybe its just about finding the brand that suits your body best. There are literally hundreds to choose from, a long arduous process of course but you need never ask that question again, unless of course your weight fluctuates but even THAT can be controlled! I might add that I am not a woman but do find that Diesel brand for me has almost a custom fit. This brand is not hard to find in Paris or its environs, I have seen them in almost every major city on earth.
Good luck!

Reply
parisapartment

This is funny! My best friend is a stylist and because of her I never have to ask that question anymore.
I get a size bigger now and presto, no more muffin top. You actually feel skinny!

Reply
MCJArt

I find my nose is looking bigger these days ~ apparently (the operative word!), it's not just about the derrière! Or perhaps my perception is changing because of new earthly stimuli ~ everything is relative, n'est-ce pas!

~ MCJ ~

Reply
Susie

Dear Vicki – I'm so with Deja Pseu and Valerie on this one..! Luckily this season is all about long sweaters and tunics – theoretically, you won't have to inspect the BTM (as my mother used to call it) until the Spring! That could be a bit dangerous though as there's nothing quite like having it on display to discourage over-indulgence in the patisserie….have a happy week, Love Susie x

Reply
Gaia

I'm the one who always ask the question, asking to be honest and at the end I know that Mr. B is afraid to say the truth!
I know I'm not alone!

Reply
Josephine Tale Peddler

I gave up wearing jeans because I always felt fat and short in them! I am guilty of asking my partner, 'have I put on weight?' There is often a strained moment of silence and the reply. 'Maybe a little.' Then I want to kill him! xx

Reply
corine

My jeans are a constant reminder of what's wrong with me: legs 4 inches too short (at least) , a bouncy bum and too much lard right above the braguette. I never ask THE question because I know THE answer.

Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

powered by chloédigital
Read previous post:
The French Doctor

Close