9 Jul 2020

Do We Place Value In The Best Way?

Do We Place Value In The Best Way? on vickiarcher.com

Do we apportion value where we should?

This is something I have wondered often over the last few months and having the time to reflect leads me to a conclusion I’m not overly happy with. I believe many women do not place enough value where they should and perhaps too much where it is not deserving. Time out during “lockdown” has been apart from anything else a great moment to redefine our value system.

Many components I have been debating have become clear to me – where I valued my time, how I spent my relaxation, where I spent my income and so many other small and large decisions. In many cases, I didn’t really love my answers. I worked too much and probably ineffectively, exercise, for the right reasons, wasn’t the priority it should have been and my expenditure was often not that advantageous. Nothing major here we don’t see on a daily basis but it does equate with our value systems and where we grab our “buzz”.

Women traditionally are the masters of devaluation.

How often do we second-guess us? Not trust our very finely honed instincts and run with what we think we should be doing rather than what we truly believe or would like to do. If we believe in our own worth, value us, then anything is possible and achievable. Right?

That’s the Better, Not Younger approach.

Then there is the placing of too much value on the meaningless and unimportant.

Shock or significant change, like the pandemic, can be a trigger to re-set our value system if we watch out for the prompts. Sadly, many of us ignore these and carry on regardless. It’s natural to stay with what you know for a certain amount of time but it’s dangerous to ignore a shift permanently. I know for me this re-set has come at the right time. I’m not one to take too much for granted, at least I hope so, but a re-alignment never hurts.

Know the difference. What is important to you?

There is so much value in having fun and that is both meaningful and important. Readjusting our values doesn’t mean we need to suck the air out of a room with our darkness or kill a mood with our seriousness. It’s more time and place – and thought. Taking time to think things through and apportioning them where they belong.

I want to value the “value” of everything, take nothing for granted and trust myself when I feel instinct kick in. There is a large canvas to how we live and let’s not lose sight and paint it by numbers. Knowing where to place value truly does enable our creativity to flow.

If nothing else we need to take a bow and revel in our own value. xv

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Linda B

This speaks so much to where my heart and mind are right now, Vicki! The pandemic, as well as the powerful social/cultural upheavals in my country, and even the current extreme heatwave* where I live in the American Southwest that is yet another potential symptom of global warming make for a serious backdrop to reevaluating personal life choices. Also for me is being in the middle of selling our long time home and then moving–so there is not really firm ground beneath my feet. It is unsettling, and also such a huge opportunity to reset one’s life course to fit the new life we have all found ourselves living. . . I am still trying to figure out exactly where this is taking me.

*As I write, at just past 9:00 a.m., the temperature is already 92 F/33 C. On it’s way up to 106F today. And a few days hotter every day through Sunday, expected to be 114 F. Pretty intense.


Had recently a shoulder OP and are now handycapped in my movement for some weeks. This fact let me think about how much I take for granted and will try to see the value in the daily “normal” things. Finally a relevant saying …
“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”


I too have learnt some valuable lessons during these strange times but the big one has been the realisation that I am spreading myself to thin. During ISO I fell back in love with my home, not that I was out of love but the luxury of time made me reconnect with all the fab reasons we live where we do. Our garden has never looked better and so many of those jobs on the never ending list finally got done. After a short period of getting back to normalwe are now heading back into lockdown for another 6 weeks (Melbourne) and if I’m totally honest…I’m secretly looking forward to it. I’m planning to reconnect with reading which is something I only seem to allow time for when I’m on holidays.


Spreading too thin has always been one of my “habits” and one I am determined not to follow any more. Reading has been a great experience for me too, this lockdown and I am continuing on with that post everything. :)


This time has taught me the value of not taking things for granted. Including my health and the health of loved ones.


Good morning Vicki!

Great topic. I think I am finding that through change, which involves being uncomfortable, brings about growth. For me, in that growth comes a shift of values. Some people may “blame” age on what I’m about to say, but I think it is a combination of things. We are all living under a new sort of value system by means of things out of our control. Therefore to me, I am learning to value things that have been “covered up” with my busy life, with my ambitions that seemed to have no limit to reach. Now, that reach has been cut short, or at least it seems it has. I have been learning to value more of what resides dormant within me. Staying home more, reading more, discussing difficult topics more with my husband and living up to what we truly “valued” in theory but now have to put into practice.

These times are hard on our routine but are becoming essential for a new ritual of self-evaluation.

cindy hattersley

Your first paragraph speaks volumes. The entire post struck a chord with me as well as your reader’s comments. I too feel we all will chart new paths after this is all over, some good some bad. I want to move forward valuing the simple things but thinking about the broader consequences. We will be retiring in a very few years, scaling down, and moving on. It may look different now for so many reasons.


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