20 Nov 2019

Does Vanity Change with Age?

Help! What a question?

I have been asked, so I will answer.

Vanity  – what is this to start with?

There is a difference between being vain and looking after our vanity. Overly vain is unattractive, self-seeking and not what I am talking about. Let’s dismiss that immediately and speak of the “good” vanity – the vanity that supports self-confidence and growth.

For me, vanity has changed significantly over the years. My vanity is more internal and less to do with others’ opinions of me. I care about myself and my personal growth – whether it be beauty, fashion, emotional, physical or intellectual for different reasons. The weighted opinions of others mean so much less to me but not of my family and friends; it would be unnatural not to care and value their opinions.

I understand where the value lies.

What is worth being vain about? Beauty is one of those not worth being overly vain about. I have accepted aging comes with changes to physical beauty, I have not accepted I cannot be “better” as I age but I know I will never be “younger”. Vanity when it comes to beauty is less about the external and more about the internal. Making most of my attributes, using the most efficient products and spending time on “looks” is important but the lesser part of my beauty vanity. Confidence, grace, a generous heart and happiness are attributes I would much rather be vain about.

Value comes with mental and physical strength.

We must remain “vain’ when it comes to our wellbeing. Physical strength and flexibility is the greatest asset as we navigate our future. Mental acuteness requires vanity and is one worthy of a heavy focus. Resisting change because it is unfamiliar is a dangerous zone to sit in. Let’s be vain about abilities, adventures and re-invention.

Does vanity change with age?

Yes, it does. Vanity becomes more purposeful and more directed.

Vanity is a tool to be used wisely and one that only we can direct; that’s what is worth remembering. xv

p.s vanity in all things that matter is not one to be taken for granted we need a reminder 

i have saved my thoughts to the book section on my phone and whenever i have a few moments spare, i use it as a prompt

I’m Vain Enough For These

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Michelle à Détroit


I couldn’t agree more. I think that most of us still want to look our absolute best, but with age comes self knowledge. We can adhere to that inimitable French saying, « Nous sommes tous à l’aise dans nos peaux. » We are all comfortable in our own skins. » it’s liberating, isn’t it?

Julie George Garkov

Your wisdom on healthy vanity is much appreciated. I feel more beautiful now at 57 than I did when I was young. We reach an age of self-acceptance which brings with it self-confidence. If we live a fulfilling life, we become more beautiful with age – the result of life’s accumulated experiences shines through from the inside out.


SO, so true Julie… it’s funny the things I chose and thought to be so important in my younger years hardly rate a mention anymore. :)


Good morning dearest Vicki! I am late here due to my demanding school schedule, but I am so glad I caught this. This is a topic I’ve been thinking about since about age 50. I’m now going on 62 and I find that it has been such a GIFT to “grow into my soul” where all these gifts of self-awareness and proper self-love reside. You are so correct that beauty is something that grows as we age but it grows “outside-in”, rather than in the conventional inside-out. By the way, this photo of you is MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE. How I wish you and I could meet for a photo shoot. I feel blessed. I was once blessed with a youthful beauty that others admired. That girl is only a memory now. However, I am exponentially blessed in my 60s because now I am blessed with an inner beauty that I ADMIRE.


I wish we could do, Anita… I am a very reluctant model and hate standing around and posing… it’ my worst nightmare… so I am not your ideal candidate!! For you I would try :)


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