28 May 2021

All White: Let’s Be Friends

let's-be-friends-vicki-archer


I have a question for you.

Do you think it is harder to make friendships as we get older or do you think we become more open and receptive?


With so much time on our hands this past year I believe friendship and what makes it work is something we have all been thinking about. It’s interesting to reflect and see who we have stayed connected to and who has quietly slipped away. Who did we regularly call or write to? Not much changed in my world and I hold those friendships even closer than before.



There is nothing like the long-term friends we know and love because we share a history together; the girlfriends from school, the university chums, or the mothers from playgroup and the school playground. What about the women and men who come into our lives later through shared interests or serendipity? Those friendships we strike up with little expectation or thought for the future.


Some make friends easily and have a string of people all over the globe who they consider besties; others are content with a handful of nearest and dearest who are there with them through everything. I might sit somewhere between two; a fractured life can do that for you. Friendships for me fall into the “more the merrier” camp, there can never be too much companionship or emotional connection in our lives. Nothing can replace a solid and enduring friendship, the expansion of our circles helps us appreciate those we know and love.


If we have learned nothing else from recent events, it should be this.



How do we make friends at our age?

It’s not so easy as we are all caught up with those we already know and what we do.


I try to be open, to make time and never presume I don’t need new people in my life. That would be short-sighted as I reflect on some of the fabulous women I have met in the last years. We have made fast friends because we have something current in common, rather than a shared history; it’s different but equally as valuable.


New friends mean extra effort and sometimes a push; it is so much easier to sit back and go with what we know.


Let us not be stuck in our ways. Friends can be younger or older. School’s out and we are allowed to mix with every year group ;)



What about online friendships?

They work for me. This site is a testament to that.

I have made some important friendships; friendships to enrich my life and those I truly value. Most of them started online and moved to the real world; others are online communications only.


Social media for all the grief it gives does have some advantages; like-minded spirits can find each other and make friends. The opposite can be true and so much time can be wasted falling down the rabbit hole of disappointment and envy.



There is a difference between making friends and filling in time.

True friends both new and old, are forever. xv




All White, We Could Be Friends

dress to shine

cotton eyelet  ||  **jacquard long sleeve  ||  **pleated long sleeve  ||  cotton shirt dress  ||  linen shirtdress  ||  balloon sleeve midi


divine inspiration

embroidered midi  ||  puff sleeve crepe  ||  poplin embroidered  ||  flutter sleeve


wear with

stan smith sneakers  ||  nappa leather bootie  ||  ballet flat  ||  woven mule  || balika flat




this feature contains affiliate links

image, bjorn looss for porter magazine

 

 

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5 Comments

Sunflower

Both my sister and I talk about friendships and how now we are both retired making friends isn’t thrust on us from work or friends through our children. As my only sister we, of course, have an enduring friendship from history, family and love but also this has grown from new interests. We live 200 miles away from each other so don’t see each other often yet both have fabulous friends nearer home. It is nice to make a new friend and I’ve met a lady from my regular yoga classes (pre Covid!) who has similar interests, in a similar position and age and I’ve loved this new growth of a friendship. It’s interesting, it’s not heavy like some can get when you have young children, a full time job and a busy house. It’s simplicity, enjoyment, talking and listening, shared interests that have come about from retirement and we both love it. It’s good to make new friends at any point in life. Lovely interesting post Vicki. Some fabulous dresses on the links too. I’m hoping to wear a dress today as the UK weather seems to be moving towards sunshine and two friends are coming for tea in the garden later.

Reply
Amanda Schlee

Dear Vicki, Thank you for this, it’s like we’re sitting opposite each other, tea in hand, having this discussion; past and future friendships has been very much in the fore of my thoughts. Contributing factors for me are these obscure times, having sold my business and now being aware of time and my age 😊x

Reply
Jennifer

I’ve made many wonderful online friendships and find them equally as rewarding as one whom I can have coffee with. Have a great weekend Vicki!

Reply
anitapelayorivera

Dear, dear Vicki! First of all, I didn’t get notification of your new post here as usual. I now have to manually click on your link to see if there are any new posts!

This is a subject near to my heart. I have literally grieved over the loss of those online friends who as you so accurately put it, “quietly slipped away.”

For fear of sounding self-righteous, I want to make sure I say this properly: I value friendships and I admit to being naive because I had simply expected that the human thing to do is to reciprocate the courtesy of communication when involved in an ongoing “friendship.” When the reality struck my little world here, I grieved the loss of what I thought to be friendships. Even in the physical space of the workplace and immediate community, I have felt lonely when even a phone call to a friend would be cut off with, “I don’t have time to talk right now.” I respect that especially in this busy world but never do those phone calls come back to me.

I value friendships but the only remedy I can think of to heal the pain is to keep moving forward and be the friend I wish I had.

Reply
Vicki

I hear what you say, Anita … and friendships do change and morph over time. It’s not an easy subject or act for anyone I would think. We can only focus on using our energies in the best way we know how and directed to those with who we have an affinity. Reciprocity is key :)

Reply

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