I have a question for you.
Do you think it is harder to make friendships as we get older or do you think we become more open and receptive?
With so much time on our hands this past year I believe friendship and what makes it work is something we have all been thinking about. It’s interesting to reflect and see who we have stayed connected to and who has quietly slipped away. Who did we regularly call or write to? Not much changed in my world and I hold those friendships even closer than before.
There is nothing like the long-term friends we know and love because we share a history together; the girlfriends from school, the university chums, or the mothers from playgroup and the school playground. What about the women and men who come into our lives later through shared interests or serendipity? Those friendships we strike up with little expectation or thought for the future.
Some make friends easily and have a string of people all over the globe who they consider besties; others are content with a handful of nearest and dearest who are there with them through everything. I might sit somewhere between two; a fractured life can do that for you. Friendships for me fall into the “more the merrier” camp, there can never be too much companionship or emotional connection in our lives. Nothing can replace a solid and enduring friendship, the expansion of our circles helps us appreciate those we know and love.
If we have learned nothing else from recent events, it should be this.
How do we make friends at our age?
It’s not so easy as we are all caught up with those we already know and what we do.
I try to be open, to make time and never presume I don’t need new people in my life. That would be short-sighted as I reflect on some of the fabulous women I have met in the last years. We have made fast friends because we have something current in common, rather than a shared history; it’s different but equally as valuable.
New friends mean extra effort and sometimes a push; it is so much easier to sit back and go with what we know.
Let us not be stuck in our ways. Friends can be younger or older. School’s out and we are allowed to mix with every year group ;)
What about online friendships?
They work for me. This site is a testament to that.
I have made some important friendships; friendships to enrich my life and those I truly value. Most of them started online and moved to the real world; others are online communications only.
Social media for all the grief it gives does have some advantages; like-minded spirits can find each other and make friends. The opposite can be true and so much time can be wasted falling down the rabbit hole of disappointment and envy.
There is a difference between making friends and filling in time.
True friends both new and old, are forever. xv
All White, We Could Be Friends
dress to shine
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image, bjorn looss for porter magazine