Today as I browsed my online favourites…searching for a link of interest or two to tweet…I found myself reading an article from the Huffington Post that not only intrigued me but at the same time shocked me….It would appear that more and more teenagers are resorting to plastic surgery in an attempt to avoid bullying. Call me old-fashioned, but I couldn’t help but be saddened by this report. When I think of plastic surgery I think of anti-aging, of preservation, of vanity and in the most extreme case of Hollywood over-indulgence. I have never thought of or considered that plastic surgery is a solution for problems of an adolescent and emotional kind. I have no judgement one way or another in regards to having or not having plastic surgery…beauty for me is all about the individual and their self confidence. If a little facial or body tidy up will promote well-being then far from me to bah humbug that.
Do I think that parents should encourage children to alter their appearance in the hope that they won’t be singled out and taunted in the schoolroom?…I really don’t know…This report featured a young girl of 13 who felt she was being tormented not only in person but on Facebook because of the size and shape of her nose. Her parents decided that she should undergo plastic surgery in order to avoid the nastiness. I can see that a measure like this would be undertaken for all the right reasons…protectiveness and parental responsibility…We all want to spare our children from the ugliness and unpleasantness of life. Who wants their child to be bullied? Nobody wants that… but I can’t help but wonder whether altering a physical characteristic of supposed ridicule is merely a bandaid solution. Then there is the question of ‘beauty’? Who decides what is acceptable and what isn’t? Are there ‘beauty’ police patrolling the social media sites and the school yards? It frightens me to think that our yardstick for what is ‘beautiful’ could be determined by pre-pubescents. Some of the people that I find the most ‘beautiful’ do not fit the standard criteria of accepted good looks…
It is a tough issue and I for one feel quite divided…When my children faced unpleasant criticism growing up…and let’s not pretend that all children don’t have difficult moments…I counselled them to ride it out and to face the provocations full on but also without engagement on such a base level….No running, no hiding…. I hope I taught them to be strong in themselves and to be proud of their individual accomplishments…if they were different, that was a plus not a minus. These petty schoolyard battles were not slights on their physical appearance so what do I know of this little girl’s unhappiness? If my child was in a major accident and required a surgical procedure to repair a facial injury…I would be the first to sign the consent form…So what is the difference? The difference is that changing our appearance in response to bullying is not a solid reason. Bullying is a part of life, it always was and it still is. Children and adults too, need to learn coping mechanisms that deal with that kind of nastiness….Changing yourself or your children to suit a bully is not the way. Long term when the emotional issues are resolved and the bullying no longer poses a threat, then if plastic surgery is still the preferred option that would be the right time.
Read the article here….What do you think? Agree or disagree…..Or like me….Confused and confounded? xv
