30 Sep 2015

Ten Easy Ways To Boost Confidence

monica bellucci, ten ways to boost confidence, vickiarcher.com

Confidence is never a given.

Nothing feels better than a new lipstick or fabulous outfit to make us feel good about ourselves.

Beauty regimes and fashion following are excellent confidence boosters.

They are not the only ways to increase our confidence.

Confidence, like fitness, oftentimes does not come naturally.

They both must be regularly practised, they require time, energy and discipline to yield results. When they do it is a very happy moment.

Confidence is probably the most attractive feature a person can display. Too much appears aggressive and un-attractive; too little and we can be lost not only to ourselves but also to those around us.

Building our confidence happens over time with small steps and much practise. There are no secrets to building confidence and nothing we haven’t thought about or talked over many times. xv

Ten Easy Ways To Boost Confidence

1: Smile more often.

Smile more often and make yourself smile when you don’t feel in the mood. It is surprising how a smile can bring out the best in people, even in less positive circumstances. Smiling takes years off the face, so if nothing else that is as good a reason as any.

2: Surround yourself with positive people.

Negativity brings us down and serves us badly. Spend time with those who are uplifting. It makes a world of difference.

3: Challenge the comfort zone.

Break the mould and try something unfamiliar, something that has always appealed but been vaguely out of reach. Don’t set the goalposts too far, small steps are the way to build self-esteem and gain confidence.

4. Take time for yourself.

Make more of an effort with your appearance; spend time on beauty routines and dress for yourself. Find the time for those activities that give pleasure. Women have a habit of never having time; we need to make time.

5. Act with purpose.

It is important to make every moment count and to do what we do to the best of our ability. Feeling half-hearted will never yield the result we are looking for and will ultimately bring us down and sap our confidence.

6: Work on Posture.

Present the image that you desire. Standing tall gives the impression of confidence even if you are shaking inside. Focus on your body in small intervals and leave the hunched shoulders behind. Easier said than done, I know.

7: Compliment and Praise.

Complimenting others has many benefits and not only for the recipient. Complimenting encourages observation and sensitivity, characteristics we aspire to. Making their day kick up a notch is as good as winning the lottery. Thinking about others does sound trite but it works. Giving elicits such a feeling of wellbeing and that means greater confidence.

8: Exercise

Increasing our fitness is one advantage but more importantly, exercise makes us mentally stronger and more positive. Never underestimate the power of a long walk or a yoga session.

9: Laugh.

Sometimes it doesn’t come easily. Try, it does wonders for the confidence. The feel-good factor of a belly laugh brightens the eyes, gets the heart pumping and keeps the smile alive.

10: Red lipstick.

When all else fails, I put on the red lips. It helps, I promise.

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image monica bellucci for wallpaper

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In This Post:



Mimi Gregor

So much to comment on here! Wearing something that you know you look great in is such a confidence booster! For me, it’s my new LBD. Just a few accessories (ropes of pearls, nude heels, Chanel bag) and I’m ready to take on the world!

Posture Is SO important! Especially in the aforementioned LBD, which is very fitted. If I were to slump, it would add pounds to my frame that weren’t actually there, as well as years to my appearance.

I have found that complimenting strangers and doing small things for them (holding the door open… giving them a multi-dollars-off coupon in a store when I can’t use it and they obviously can) not only gives them a lift, but gives me one as well!

And yes, red lipstick just brightens my whole face. I had avoided it for a long time, because I had seen it written that “women of a certain age” should stick to light colors, like pinks. That dark or bold colors were aging. However, I have disregarded other bits of “wisdom” from these sources to great effect: they also say to avoid wearing eye makeup under the eyes, but I find that I look better with it. This is the case with red lips as well. I think the thing to do is try the look at home and see what you think. It helps to take a picture of yourself and hold it next to a picture with your previous look and compare them. The camera is less apt to deceive us than just looking in a mirror.


Mimi… That is a brilliant idea to take a “before and after shot” of our looks… One way to find the best result… :)
And yes I do believe it is easy to build confidence… we just have to start… :)


Sage advice from both of you. Maturity also has its rewards. As we age, we discover new things about ourselves, others and this wonderful world around us. That’s where the smiles come from. As you say, Vickie: Adventure is Forever!



Yes April, and I have decided that 2016 will be the year for new adventures…
Who wants to come along with me? :) :)

Angela Muller

Hi Vicki,
Though the lack of confidence is often a complex issue, I believe these behavior modification techniques help us focus on our outward persona, which, ultimately, enables us, with assistance, to concentrate on those internal struggles. Great list!


Listening to Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra just before I am going out for some reason makes me feel so loved and warm. I have them loaded on Spotify and while I am getting ready I feel so happy.


Such a great addition to our list Debra,
Music really lifts our spirtits… I was just in a cab coming home and the cabbie had his music on and was singing away… it elevated my mood as well… it was an old fashioned familiar tune… I cannot even remember the song now… but it did the trick… :) Still smiling as I think of him singing and navigating London traffic…


I agree 100%! I like listening to Billie Holiday with a glass of wine as I’m getting ready for a night out. There is something so calming about it and it reminds me of old fashioned glamour.


Maybe that is why my satellite radio is tuned to a Frank Sinatra station. I simply do not tire of him.

mona turner

Good Morning Vicki! Confidence really does make a difference in our appearance. I actually feel that since reading your blog for these past few years I have gained confidence in myself, have improved my wardrobe, and have embraced all your beauty tips. I have recently been asked to be in a fashion show and I absolutely said, “Yes!” I know I did not have this confidence that I have today, a few years ago. I honestly believe reading your daily blog has helped me blossom. Thank-you Vicki!


Oh, Mona… Words fail me… that must be a first ;) ;)
You have made my day change from being pretty great to so wonderful. It is my greatest wish to inspire all of us women with confidence… and I am so delighted that you feel that way.
thank you xx

Linda Kerr

On my Facebook page I posted a “Before” and “After” shot of myself in which everything was the same EXCEPT that in the first one I am not smiling and am rather slumped over. In the second I am sitting up straight and smiling. HUGE difference! And very inexpensive!


Yes… it’s so true Linda..
Carla and I did that one afternoon, playing aroud with the camera… teh results were quite shocking… :)
I’m smiling 24/7 from now on… ;)


It’s so easy to let the negative remarks or glances sneak in to our lives. We have to stand strong and believe in ourselves.

If there was one thing I wanted to instill in my daughter when she was growing up, it was to have confidence in the right balance.


I am so determined to reject any negativity… I think it is absolutely essential and I never ever listen or pay attention to it. Great advice for your daughter, Katherine… :)


Dear Vicki, How absolutely coincidental – have just been having a wonderful and quite in-depth conversation with my daughter and she asked me what advice I would give to my younger self. I said “Be more confident and be optimistic about the future”. I think your 10 points cover it all. I think I will print it off and keep it on hand to remind myself from time to time. C xx


I do love that particular converstaion, Carolyn… and yes… confidence is everything.
My younger self would have been more confident… and worn shorter skirts!!

Ivy Lane

Great post! I shall hit my yoga mat for an “hour of power”! Oh, how I wish I could wear red lipstick. I have not found the right shade!

Happy Wednesday!

Cathy Wong

Thank you for another great reminder Vicki!! I’m printing it off too, just to have handy……
My main one to work on is rejecting negativity (especially challenging in my workplace), and also taking a step or two outside of my comfort zone more regularly.


That old comfort zone is a hard nut to crack…
Maybe we should all chat some more about how to do that… I will think on it and write something up next week… I will try a few challenges in between… ;)


I love all of your ideas and have to agree that going out of your comfort zone is one of the most challenging. To that end, I forced myself to sign up for a 10K in honor of my mom, who passed away a few weeks ago. Now….as a self-professed couch potato in fall,winter, and spring, I need to get busy, busy, busy! Thanks again for the positive energy you bring to your readership.


I really love this post of yours Vicki. Shall definitely draw them out to place on my walls as a reminder on those days when i am feeling less then apt.


We all have those days Marlene.. and probably why I felt like writing about this topic today. Reading all your wonderful responses has certainly made my day more fabulous… :)


Ladies…thank you for your pearls of wisdom,
I really needed to hear them 1st thing this morning to set my course, as events of yesterday tried to disrail me.


Yes, yes, YES!! I love all of these & add a couple. First, DANCE. Crank up some good music (Led Zeppelin & The Stones do it for for me, but pick what works for you) & just dance from one end of the house to the other. [I consider it part of my exercise routine.] Second, stop “tolerating”. Get 100% behind something, or get rid of it. That dress that’s practical but doesn’t make your heart soar when you put it on, the dripping kitchen faucet, gossip, people you don’t really like all that much but have been in your life forever, lovers & significant others who don’t treat you as you deserve to be treated, where you live, where you work, those extra pounds you’d love to shed, too much TV or social media, that sofa that cost a lot but doesn’t suit the room or you — just stop tolerating all the stuff & people & situations in your life that don’t support the best you in the best way. You deserve better! Get rid of them or fix them & be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.


Right on Janet….this has actually been my MO since last December and it’s working for me….not tolerating, not settling…life is short and I’m living it my way from here on out…and that includes awesome lighting and fixtures from PB :) what a way to make your space brand new…
Best list ever Vicki!! thank you for the reminder :)

Deborah McKenzie

These are wonderful reminders of some of the things so easily forgotten. I too will be printing these confidence boosters for my own as well as share with others. For me this was perfect timing. Thank you for the inspiration.

sandra baldaia

That´s the first time I ever comment on this blog, not because I don’t like (I do). But more than fashion I feel these words today so true and inspiring. That’ works for the true beauty. (I´m stilll working on some of them…)


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