There is an elephant in my room?
My mood and its swings, roundabouts and 360degree loops are the elephants I am referring to. Yes, there is more than one.
Please tell me you are suffering from mood swings?
Here is the truth.
Under normal circumstances – whatever they were – I am not a moody person and fairly even-tempered. Life runs to a calm hum and most gets taken in my stride. I feel happy and contented, have nothing to complain about and am extremely grateful for my wonderful life. I have been married forever to the same lovely person and we really do work well together.
Fast forward, in the time of Corona, I feel every ratty mood and then some and for absolutely no reason. The moods don’t last thankfully and I recognise them for what they are, reactions to a stressful and unfamiliar environment. I can be annoyed at the way my home looks, irritated by the way David sits quietly working away; I could berate myself over nothing. None of it makes sense and none of it “real”. He seems to be kinder, more placid and gentler than ever. If he has found a new and challenging moody side, he is concealing his demons well.
It is unusual occupying a body with an unknown personality.
Temper and I aren’t familiar and I wouldn’t say I am a picky person; a perfectionist, yes. Now there are moments when I feel irritable about the smallest detail and fractious at the sound of a footstep.
I suspect it is to do with nervous anxiety, deep-seated fear for our future and the changes it will inevitably bring, and while not visible is playing with my emotions. I’m breathing deeply until these swings disappear as quickly as they came. The content of my disharmony is irrelevant and I am recognising it as such; I keep to myself and let it pass. Deep breathing is a life saviour and one to practice on a regular basis.
The flip side of my disharmony is creativity.
I feel so energised and motivated to create in all ways. Today I ordered the ingredients to start baking; I have never baked anything in my life. Who is this woman? She doesn’t bake or even like cakes but feels like the challenge of a simple but unfamiliar task. Do stop me if my delusions go too far. ;)
Please follow THE EMPORIUM Instagram, Amy is helping me create the most beautiful A-Z of flowers and gardens and we have so many ideas for this series. The challenge of finding both the informational and visual content is such a joy. While my next collection is waiting to launch, I love this hiatus to really think about how far I can take this. Ideas and words are flowing so the erratic state of mind can’t be all bad?
Are you suffering from altered moods? I won’t let them get me down, I refuse and nor will I give credence to their paltry subject matter, but a bit of a roller coaster they certainly are. xv