14 Oct 2020

How To Handle The Grey Hair Days

How To Handle The Grey Hair Day on vickiarcher.com


What does that mean?

What I mean is the grey hair, the going grey and the wearing of grey hair can get you down.

The truth is it is not all smiles and confidence and feeling fabulous. Grey hair can mean grey days.

I want to be honest – I have done the whole grey thing – but some days looking in the mirror is tough. I don’t like it. Not because of how I feel inside but more for how it looks outside. I wax and wane; I love it or I don’t.


It is not a simple relationship.



The confusion can cause all sorts of poor decision-making. The reality is going or being grey is confronting and anyone who tells you otherwise is a legend and I want to meet him or her.


This week I don’t like having grey hair.

Now let me preface this by saying it’s not an entirely rational feeling but rather it could be my whim. Life feels very discombobulated right now for us all and I do appreciate this affects our mood enormously. I am feeling fickle and I must remember that. When I feel like this and for any of you, who are going through the process of letting grey hair dominate, remember it is natural to react to change and all the sentiments this evokes.


Grey is not simply shades of; grey is an attitude and state of mind.



How To Handle The Grey

Most importantly if the grey hair looked good last week, it will still look good this week.

Make a note to self – the emotions are more about you and your state of mind than hair colour.


When the grey gloom hits don’t rush – save any momentous decisions.

Those changes will be the ones regretted not the colour of your hair.


Grey hair does not have to look like “old lady”.

Keep your role models front of mind and focus on why you are growing out or wearing grey.


Be practical but not adventurous.

Have a blow-dry, a trim or wear a new lipstick. Mix it up but don’t make an irreversible decision. This is how the mind works with the blahs – what we know will never work, suddenly becomes a great idea. Avoid this at all costs. The grey malaise will pass; the hair will take a lot longer to grow out.


Growing in the grey is a lot like a diet.

We are doing it for all the right reasons but it doesn’t make it easier. The diet is for our wellbeing but there are times we want to break it and go awol in a major way. When we do all that is left is remorse and regret; better to hang in and see the results.


Write a mental list of the pros and cons.

This is simply a way of re-establishing why you wanted to wear grey in the first place. For me, I know deep down I like the look and admire it on other women. My mood is most likely about everything other than the colour of my hair.


Listen to you.

Don’t ask others for an opinion until you are convinced of your own. Whether to wear the grey is a hot topic of conversation and women, rightly so, feel divided over it. Some women don’t like it and others do. Know yourself and speak to like-minded friends when you get the wobbles.


Self-confidence.

Forget the hair when these feelings strike and work on activities to boost self-confidence. Taking ourselves out of “us” and working at a deeper level puts everything into perspective.


Boost the wardrobe.

Try a fabulous new dress or re-engineer one you already have. Making a change in the wardrobe is the easiest trick to feeling better and look more up to date. Wearing “grey” does not equate with a lack of fashion focus. It is even more of a reason to do so. Linda Rodin (pictured) is the best example of someone who wears grey well with a fashion-forward focus.



I will wait this out because one thing I do know, it will pass.  xv



By Bye Blahs aka The Closest Way To Paris Right Now

** sandro sweater dress  ||  sandro knit dress  ||  sandro stripe dress  ||  sandro tweed blazer  ||  sandro lace detail sweater




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image of linda rodin, lo donna magazine

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27 Comments

Terry Applegate

I am not sure that this is the gray alone! I actually added some gray highlights to brighten a bit, but the concept of aging is what gives me the blahs and I need to push to snap out of it!!!!

Reply
Eileen

I have toyed with the idea of letting my hair go gray, but was told by my hairdresser to never go gray because she could see the roots and said it would be a terrible shade with my skin tone, which is very, very pale. I have never been a sun person and I would end up looking like a sheet of white paper. I have colored my own hair, dark blond, for years, using an excellent brand of hair color and more recently(thanks to the pandemic) have been letting my hair grow long(halfway down my back) in layers. I love it as I have almost no curl and it looks so much better long. Many women cut their hair too short as they get older and I think it’s a mistake. Having had too many horrible short haircuts through the years, I’m Finally happy with my hair. I just turned 74. It’s about time I figured it out. Many women look fabulous with gray hair and I see many young women with gray hair. It’s a trend. Just not for me.

Reply
Vicki

It’s the best when you know what works and what you like, Eileen… it’s a journey but very good when we arrive.
I like longer hair too… but also each to their own :)

Reply
Melissa

Eileen, it might look lovely being grey. I have very pale skin, blue eyes and silver hair, and it suits my skin tone so well. I do wear bright clothes such as fuchsia pink, cornflower blue, purple, lilac, emerald green, navy and red, just nothing with a yellow/orange tone. I also wear a bold lipstick, usually fuchsia pink. Just look at Queen Elizabeth and you will see what pale skin and silver hair looks like and go with her make up and cloths colours and you will look stunning.

Reply
B. Person

It important to frame this idea….when someone comments on my lovely long grey hair I correct them. Grey is such a drab, dull, depressing term. Reframe it..my hair is silver with pewter highlights. It is never grey!! I never look at it and call it grey. It is a crown of silver and it’s important to wear it as such.

Reply
LindaH

Ugh I feel your pain. I am hating my white hair right now. My Ring camera got me at my front door and sent a picture of me to my Apple watch. I stupidly looked at it and said ‘who is that old woman at my door??’ Then I realized it was ME!

LOL buying a new dress won’t help matters as we don’t go anywhere because of COVID. C’est la guerre n’est pas? :)

Reply
Vicki

I don’t care if I don’t go anywhere.. I will still dress up on Fridays! That’s what I started earlier in the year when we were housebound and I will keep it up… when the track pants don’t win out ;)

Reply
Angela in NZ

I too find defined brows, brighter lipstick, blusher and colour in my clothing are getting me over the hurdles of the long, drawn out process. Just looking at the Linda Rodin pic, she’s wearing colour and looks fabulous. My tip is don’t look too long in the mirror without makeup and smile when you do. Blah will pass :-)

Reply
Melissa

I am one of those grey ladies, who absolutely, 100% adore being grey. I have never had a day when I have wished it to be another colour and have actually had nightmares that it had become dark brown again. I do, however have Blah days about the length. I have fine hair and I am trying to grow it so that I can do some elegant French rolls, etc. I get it to shoulder length and then think it is a rat’s tail and get it chopped to a chin length bob. This year I have persevered and thanks to COVID, going to a hairdresser hasn’t been an option anyway. I have been using a special shampoo and conditioner designed to improve thinning hair, and it has started to thicken. I love putting it up in a simple high bun, and pinning a large fabric flower or bow below it which stops it looking like a granny bun and looks fresh and fun. When I travelled to India, I was visiting a palace and there was a school group there. The children were saying something and looking at me and wanting a photo with me. The teacher told me that the children said that I was the Silver Lady. With very pale skin, blue eyes and my grey hair, I was such a contrast to the Indian brown/black hair, brown eyes, brown skin, and I had many people wanting to have a selfie with me taken cheek to cheek!

Reply
Mary

Still growing my silver in – some days ready to give up but then run to my stylist and have another 1/2 inch of reddish gold chopped off! Hair much shorter right now – think long on top pixie with shorter sides – but I like it as I can dry it naturally, no heat tools, no daily blow outs, therefore stronger hair hopefully. Once all silver may try a longer style again, although I must say the short cut is really quite liberating after years of fussing with the ‘perfect bob’ !

Reply
Lynne

It seems to me that the discussion of gray as good or bad could be distilled down to one’s fear of where they are in the scheme of things. I think perhaps if you are comfortable with aging and comfortable with your own mortality then gray hair is not jarring, nor startling in any way. Sometimes I believe that just as some men prefer that women don’t wear their hair gray as it is a reminder of their own mortality, that some women prefer not to see gray hair in their friends’ hair because it too is that same reminder.
At a certain point it takes a great deal of effort to maintain illusion when it comes to age and it’s definitely a very personal choice but I think we women shouldn’t judge each other at all for finding that peace and letting the gray prevail. It may not always be the youngest choice, if you will, but it is honest and good and right and in that sense, I believe it shouldn’t be judged.

Reply
Char

I accepted my grey several years ago. What I did find is that some colours had to be eliminated from my wardrobe since the shade/tone was now in conflict. However, since my hair is at its natural colour, I’m more in tune with what actually looks good with my skin tone and hair colour – no more conflicts. I’ve never looked back!!
Ps: if there is a drawback, is that your hair will be so much more healthy but won’t have the same (damage) body created by constant colouring. Oh well!

Reply
Kaaren Eastwood

Tried it dudes it! Since returning from a very short trip to France this year Yes in March ! I decided blow it and have grown my colour out ! This time permanently! I actually think it is fine this time around and the condition of my hair hasn’t been so good since back in the teen age years when I first started coloring it! A great cut is all you need and yes LIPSTICK and a smile 😃

Reply

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