I have a new motto.
Taking for granted is not the same as presumption. A presumption is an expectation we have come to rely on; meaning if we do the work we will ensure a result or if we plan X then Y will follow. I don’t think we can think like this anymore. If the current pandemic teaches us nothing else it is to expect the unexpected. What we presume will happen may be nothing more than a sentimental recollection of how it used to be.
I don’t mean to sound dramatic.
It’s not.
Addressing reality and accepting a new vision is a positive way to look at life.
For example, a presumption I made only a year or so ago now seems so redundant in this new way of life.
I should be flying to Italy right about now to celebrate our daughter’s marriage. If they called it off, somebody became seriously ill or there was a force majeure of geographical nature I might have presumed changes. Not this. No wedding anytime soon and no leaving the country for the time being. No flights no parties. There is a disappointment, there is sorrow for Italy, there is a deep sadness we won’t be celebrating with our couple and friends but honestly, it’s ok. We are all healthy, we are happy as can be expected and our lives aren’t in jeopardy. So many others have been less fortunate so the cancellation of an event is neither here nor there.
It is as it is and whatever they choose to do, wherever it is, will be wonderful in whatever shape it takes. What I do find interesting is my presumption, my absolute faith in how our lives were, that an event such as this with the right dedication, planning and desire would be the status quo. There are so many couples facing change this year – celebrations cancelled and re-scheduled – they too put their faith in the norm. And this is only one aspect of the changes we are facing.
Now I want to tread cautiously, see what kind of world awaits us when we exit our safe havens. There is no way I will take for granted the small stuff but neither am I presuming the big. Will we be able to travel? Yes, I am sure but let’s presume it will look different. Is socialising back? Probably we will congregate in small numbers, but the presumption of a grand old gala? Maybe not for some time. Fashion and the related industries? I don’t know how this will look but I am certain it will be altered. Will we even care about what’s “in” and “out” each season? Maybe the idea of “season” will become truthful and rely on temperatures and geography to dictate what we wear?
I presumed so much of my life was here to stay. Did I see it as my right? Perhaps I did and perhaps it’s something to do with being a baby boomer. We had all the luck.
Taking too much for granted is easy to remedy. We fall short and need helpful reminders. Our children, partners and friends feel the weight of our moods. The luxury of how we live can seem the norm when it isn’t compared on a global scale; we are so fortunate if we can face hardship in comfort. That’s how I see the truth for many of us. It’s been tough but it has not been uncomfortable. Taking for granted means we forget to appreciate the value of the lives we live.
When I say, “presume nothing” I am conceiving a far bigger picture. And my new motto: Presume nothing. xv
Have you downloaded your copy of Better, Not Younger?
Whenever I feel the need for a boost of self-confidence or encouragement to keep moving forwards I re-read certain passages:
“We are so much more visible to ourselves once we reach a certain age. Feeling invisible in public ways has grown my self-confidence and allowed me to be the woman I am. The focus is on the internals and not the externals; yes, I care about how I am perceived by others but it is more for my benefit. Being driven by outside perception does not overly enhance confidence but the flip side is we work harder on the more meaningful elements.”
