The “At-Home” Diaries: What If? If Only? I Wish?

Do you ever reflect on the past and think, if only I did this or that? Or wish events or even life had turned around differently? Hindsight can be a dangerous game; especially a wishing-wanting-to-change-the-past game. We cannot re-write history, we can learn from it but we cannot change it. Wishing our lives were different or we had made alternate decisions can only make us feel unhappy if we don’t like where we are at.

 

I’d rather work on the now and make my future exactly how I want. Tailor-make the decisions and shape them with the clarity age has generously shown me. If you listened in to my chat with Serena Crawford last Monday we talked a great deal about the importance of time and energy in our lives right now.

Having an energetic mind, body and spirit allows us more time and with this precious time, there is no wasting. Thinking about what could have been would be an insult to this treasured commodity and none of us, whatever our age can afford that. I wish I had known this in my earlier years.

There I go adding in an “if only” – what’s the point, I didn’t and I wasted so much valuable time – let’s leave it there. This trapdoor is now firmly shut and I am not opening it again. I’m on a mission to prioritise time and make it work for me.  

One element of this lockdown for me has been time to think, really think – and reflect. For all the sadness, this has been a true gift and in many ways without actively knowing I have made changes. Both small and large are having equal airtime and I really don’t want to lose any of this momentum. Work will be required to maintain this status quo and I am committed to that.

When I wrote Better, Not Younger, I voiced my thoughts in a way to be helpful reminders – reminders I need on a daily basis. I wanted a blueprint for moving forward and negotiating the next decades with as much upside as I can. I don’t care about tag lines such as “60 is the new 40”, I want my brightest and shiniest to be today and tomorrow. I should have included an “I wish” chapter, as I believe too many of us reflect and feel disheartened by our past decision making. We have to let it go, learn from the take-away and move forward. It’s easy once you accept the challenge.

“The thought of being the best version, the most fabulous version of us is empowering. This is the space I want to conquer.” xv